Midland RockHounds

197

I think I know how this logo was first conceived. It was a three-step process.

First, the designer smoked copious amounts of marijuana.

Second, he watched a Flintstones marathon on Boomerang.

Finally, he got up to let his dog out.

How else do we explain the fact that the dog is wearing a skin reminiscent of Fred's outfit? How else do we explain that he has a miniature sundial for a watch? How else do we explain the baseball that looks like a poorly carved rock? And is there any explanation at all for the fact that the baserock has stitching? How do you stitch a rock, anyway? And why?

In spite of all this, the dog somehow manages to have a modern looking bat and a modern looking hard hat (yes, the hard hat is grey, but it doesn't have the cracks and pockmarks that indicate it's made of rock). Even more inexplicable, there are oil derricks in the background despite the fact that the animals that are now oil were still alive in the time of the Flintstones (this is, I believe, why Fred had to propel his car with his feet). In fact, the dog in the logo could very well be one of those animals. Think about that the next time you fill up your car. I don't know about your car, but I think mine gets something like 21 miles per logo.

I have no idea where the name comes from. Midland is not, as far as I can tell, famous for rocks. It isn't significant in the history of rock music. They don't even make rocking chairs, for crying out loud. There is such thing as a "rock hound" (it's basically a person who collects rocks with the fanatacism most commonly associated with birdwatchers who maintain "life lists"), but I've no reason to believe they're any more common in Midland than anywhere else in the country. I'm not even convinced that the team owners were aware there was such a thing as a "rock hound" when they named the team, which is why I'm giving them the "compound" penalty even though it actually is a real word.

By now I've gotten to be pretty jaded about JACKALS and teams who make up compound words for their teams. But this one is different. This thing is just so ridiculous, so idiotic that I feel compelled to comment on how ridculous and idiotic it is. I don't just think marijuana, cartoons, and a dog that needed to pee are the origin of the logo. I suspect they may be the origin of the name itself. And that, all by itself, should explain why you shouldn't do drugs. Look at that name, kids. Then look at that logo. That's your brain on drugs. Any questions?

Final Score: 197 points.
Penalties: Software, 13 pts; Compound, 34 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.