Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings

114

How did they screw this up? How could they take such a simple concept, and screw it up? The name of the team is "WhiteWings". All they have to do for a logo is have wings that are white. They can fancy it up by putting those wings on a bird, or a bat, or even a freaking pterodactyl for all I care, as long as they make the wings white! So what do they do? They put wings in the logo...and they aren't white.

All right, fine: half of the wings are white. But only half. The other half are black. The team is not called the Rio Grande Valley BlackAndWhiteWings (which is a good thing, because such a name would be way too long). The team is called the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings. If you want to call the team the WhiteWings, put white wings in the logo. Is that so hard?

They can't even decide which part of the wing is which color. In every example of the logo I've seen that isn't on the uniform, the bottom of the wing is white and the top is black. But when the logo appears on the team's ballcap, suddenly the bottom is black and the top is white. At least, this is what happens when they wear their white caps. When they wear their black caps, it can go either way. They can't even be consistent about how they do it wrong. They actually manage to screw up screwing up. That's just appalling.

The geographic portion of the name has problems, too. I'm not just talking about the fact that the Rio Grande is nearly two thousand miles long and thus "Rio Grande Valley" could refer to a location as far away south central Colorado (although that is part of what I'm saying). My main problem is that south central Colorado has a better claim to the name "Rio Grande Valley" than the Brownsville-Harlingen area, because in south central Colorado, the Rio Grande actually has a valley. In the Brownsville-Harlingen area, the Rio Grande is pretty flat. In fact, try this out: Go to Google Maps, put it on the Terrain view, set it at the lowest resolution that shows topographic lines (that's the one where the scale shows 1 mile and 2 km), and see how far you have to go up the Rio Grande before you see a topographic line. I'll save you the effort: It's somewhere around Laredo. Laredo is nearly 200 miles from Harlingen. The Brownsville-Harlingen area should not be called the Rio Grande Valley. If anything, it should be called the Rio Grande Floodplain.

But I have a simpler name for the team than the Rio Grande Floodplain WhiteWings, or the Rio Grande Valley Whitewings. How about the Harlingen WhiteWings? Does that not actually sound better? Much quicker to say, and it rolls off the tongue better (by the way, the "g" in Harlingen is soft, in case you're wondering). Such a simple fix. They actually used this name for a couple of seasons, so they probably have some old stationery sitting around with that name on it. It would be so simple to go back to that name again. Then all they'd have to do is figure out what color white is, and we'd be set.

Final Score: 114 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 17 pts; Software, 27 pts; Compound, 34 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Colorful (because there are too many colors in the wing, that's why), 31 pts.
Bonuses: None.