HOME
HOCKEY
OTHER
FEEDBACK
FRIENDS AND FAVORITES
RULES
RANKINGS
HISTORY
TEAMS
Teams with asterisks are not yet posted
Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros de Monclova*
Akron Aeros*
Albuquerque Isotopes*
Alexandria Aces*
Altoona Curve*
Amarillo Dillas*
American Defenders of
New Hampshire*
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists*
Auburn Doubledays*
Augusta GreenJackets*
Bakersfield Blaze
Batavia Muckdogs
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs*
Binghamton Mets*
Birmingham Barons*
Bluefield Orioles*
Boise Hawks*
Bowie Baysox*
Bowling Green Hot Rods*
Brevard County Manatees*
Bridgeport Bluefish*
Bristol White Sox*
Brockton Rox*
Broncos de Reynosa*
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons*
Burlington Bees*
Burlington Royals*
Calgary Vipers*
Camden Riversharks*
Capitales de Quebec*
Carolina Mudcats
Casper Ghosts*
Cedar Rapids Kernels*
Charleston RiverDogs*
Charlotte Knights*
Charlotte Stone Crabs*
Chattanooga Lookouts*
Chico Outlaws*
Clearwater Threshers*
Clinton LumberKings*
Colorado Springs Sky Sox*
Columbus Clippers*
Corpus Christi Hooks*
Dallas Aviators*
Danville Braves
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Cubs
Delmarva Shorebirds*
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Dunedin Blue Jays*
Durham Bulls*
Edinburg Coyotes*
Edmonton Capitals*
El Paso Diablos
Elizabethtown Twins*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds*
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Florence Freedom*
Fort Myers Miracle*
Fort Wayne TinCaps*
Fort Worth Cats*
Frederick Keys*
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders*
Gary SouthShore RailCats*
Gateway Grizzlies*
Grand Prairie Air Hogs*
Great Falls Voyagers*
Great Lakes Loons*
Greeneville Astros*
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive*
Guerreros de Oaxaca*
Gwinnett Braves
Hagerstown Suns*
Harlingen WhiteWings*
Harrisburg Senators*
Helena Brewers*
Hickory Crawdads
High Desert Mavericks*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Huntsville Stars
Idaho Falls Chukars*
Indianapolis Indians*
Inland Empire 66ers of
San Bernardino*
Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Suns*
Jamestown Jammers*
Johnson City Cardinals*
Joliet Jackhammers
Jupiter Hammerheads*
Kalamazoo Kings*
Kane County Cougars*
Kannapolis Intimidators*
Kansas City T-Bones
Kingsport Mets*
Kinston Indians*
Lake County Captains*
Lake Elsinore Storm*
Lake Erie Crushers*
Lakeland Flying Tigers*
Lakewood BlueClaws*
Lancaster Barnstormers*
Lancaster JetHawks*
Lansing Lugnuts*
Laredo Broncos*
Las Vegas 51s*
Lehigh Valley IronPigs*
Leones de Yucatán*
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs*
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Los Potros de Tijuana*
Louisville Bats*
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mahoning Valley Scrappers*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Midwest Sliders*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Osprey*
Mobile BayBears*
Modesto Nuts*
Montgomery Biscuits*
Myrtle Beach Pelicans*
Nashville Sounds*
New Britain Rock Cats
New Hampshire Fisher Cats*
New Jersey Jackals
New Orleans Zephyrs*
Newark Bears
Norfolk Tides
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Redhawks
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Royals*
Oneonta Tigers*
Orange County Flyers*
Orem Owlz*
Palm Beach Cardinals*
Pawtucket Red Sox
Pensacola Pelicans*
Peoria Chiefs*
Pericos de Puebla*
Petroleros de Minatitlán*
Piratas de Campeche*
Portland Beavers
Portland Sea Dogs
Potomac Nationals*
Princeton Rays*
Pulaski Mariners*
Quad City River Bandits*
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Phillies*
Reno Aces*
Richmond Flying Squirrels*
River City Rascals*
Rochester Red Wings
Rockford RiverHawks*
Rojos del Aguila de Veracruz*
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express*
Sacramento River Cats*
Salem Red Sox
Salem-Keizer Volcanoes*
Salt Lake Bees*
San Angelo Colts*
San Antonio Missions*
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo*
Sarasota Reds*
Savannah SandGnats*
Schaumburg Flyers*
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees*
Shreveport-Bossier Captains*
Sioux City Explorers*
Sioux Falls Canaries*
Somerset Patriots*
South Bend Silver Hawks*
Southern Illinois Miners*
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs*
Spokane Indians*
Springfield Cardinals*
St. George RoadRunners
St. Lucie Mets*
St. Paul Saints*
State College Spikes*
Staten Island Yankees*
Stockton Ports*
Sussex Skyhawks*
Sutalnes de Monterrey*
Syracuse Chiefs*
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Yankees*
Tecolotes de Nuevo Laredo
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Tigres de Quintana Roo*
Toledo Mud Hens
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder*
Tri-City Dust Devils*
Tri-City ValleyCats*
Tucson Toros*
Tulsa Drillers*
Vancouver Canadians*
Vaqueros Laguna*
Vermont Lake Monsters*
Victoria Seals
Visalia Rawhide*
Washington Wild Things*
West Michigan Whitecaps*
West Tenn Diamond Jaxx
West Virginia Power*
Wichita Wingnuts*
Williamsport Crosscutters*
Wilmington Blue Rocks*
Windy City ThunderBolts*
Winnipeg Goldeyes*
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers*
Worcester Tornadoes*
Yakima Bears
York Revolution*
Yuma Scorpions*
| Traverse City Beach Bums | 215 |
Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2009 April 25
One thing I quickly learned while doing the hockey reviews is that if a logo includes an animal that has nothing to do with the team's name, odds are high that it's going to be a bear. I didn't think to wonder whether this would be true in other sports, but if this logo is any indication, the answer is yes.
I find the idea of a bear living on the beach to be amusing. First of all, I'm not sure why a bear would want to hang out at a beach. Yes, there are fish there. But there are also fish in rivers that run through the mountains, and it's usually cooler there. For an animal that's covered with fur, this is an important consideration. Why would an animal that's covered in fur want to hang out at the beach? (If you're going to write in to describe middle-aged men covered in fur you're seen at the beach, please don't. I promise you that I don't need to hear about it.)
Then again, if the bear enjoyed the taste of human flesh, a beach would be a pretty good place to get lunch. Picture, if you will, the bear in this logo rampaging across a beach, noshing on anyone slow enough to get caught. It's a morbidly hilarious picture, don't you think? For bonus points, imagine that the bear is working in tandem with a shark. I can hear the people screaming, "EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE WATER! NO, WAIT, GO BACK INTO THE WATER! NO, WAIT! OH SHIT, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" People start flapping their arms desperately, hoping to defy their anatomy and fly. And that's when the falcons start swooping down.
This is one reason why I don't vacation at the beach.
Of course, this bear doesn't look like he hangs out at the beach eating people. He doesn't look like he hangs out at the beach at all. There is absolutely nothing about this logo that says "beach" except for the actual word "beach". Yeah, the bear's wearing sunglasses, but so what? People miles away from the nearest beach wear sunglasses. The waves, you say? You say those little swoopy things below the words "Beach Bums" and on either side of the baseball are supposed to be waves? Perhaps. But somehow they come across looking more like the baseball's oversized moustache. And by the way, isn't it a nice touch that the managed to sneak not one, but two baseballs into the logo? They should have put stitching on the white circle behind the bear and gone for the trifecta. Maybe for that one they could even do something crazy like make the stitching red. Honestly, have you ever seen a baseball with blue stitching?
Of course, when I say they have two baseballs in the logo, that's not entirely accurate, because in addition to the two drawings of baseballs, they put the actual word "baseball" below the, er, moustache. Why? Did they think we needed to be told this was a baseball team? Did they think someone would look at this logo and assume we were dealing with a football team?
As if all this wasn't enough (and it
was), there are a healthy number of flat out mistakes on the logo. Notice,
for example, that the logo on the baseball cap appears not on the actual
cap portion, but on the underside of the visor. The jersey apparently
isn't buttoned, since you can see a stripe of the bear's stomach between
the left and right halves of the jersey. Also, notice that his left thumb
is on the wrong side of his hand. Yes, you could argue that his arm is
turned, but no pitcher would hold his glove hand like that because he uses
the glove to hide his hand right before the pitch. In fact, here's a
picture of a pitcher (or is that a pitcher of a picture?) I found on the
Beach Bums' own website. Notice how he's holding his glove. For that
matter, notice how he's holding the ball. Notice the direction he's
leaning. Notice — oh hell, just notice any detail you care to, and
then look at the logo. I guarantee you the bear won't be doing it right.
So not only is this logo poorly conceived, it's poorly executed, too. I have to wonder if this designer could come up with a good logo if his life depended on it. We should find out. We should leave the designer stranded on a beach, stuck between a bear and a shark, with nothing but a sheet of paper and a box of 64 crayons to protect him. If he can come up with something better, we'll let him go. And if not? That's when the falcons start swooping down.
Final Score: 215 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Script, 7 pts; Equipment, 13 pts; Obvious,
17 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Irrelevance, 39 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51
pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts.