Albany River Rats

69

For years I thought the rat in this logo had only one eye. That, I thought, was a nice touch; I like that sort of attention to detail. But I was looking at it again today, and now I'm not so sure.

I think what's really going on is that we've got two faced melded together, sort of like the movie poster for Face/Off. Notice how the left half (viewer's perspective) of the rat has his eyes closed (or missing) and is smiling, while the right half has his eyes open and is smirking. Now, having one eye open and the other closed is easy, especially when one eye doesn't actually have an eye. But I don't think it's possible to smirk with one side of your face and smile with the other. In fact, I just spent a few minutes in front of the mirror trying. I can now say with authority that it can't be done. I can also say with authority that when you try, 1) you look psychotic, 2) you make your face muscles sore, and 3) if you have a cat, she will look at you as if you've lost your mind.

But the face isn't the truly disturbing part of this logo. The truly disturbing part is the fact that this creature has apparently just fallen into the ice, or worse yet, he's just broken out of it. Ladies and gentlemen, I know for a fact that the ice on a hockey rink is less than an inch thick. Therefore, the idea that the ice could hide half of this creature is cause for concern. Does the ice in Albany hide a doorway into the fourth dimension?

If it does, it's a great strategy. Just when the other team thinks it has a breakaway, two-faced, transdimensional rats creep out of the ice like monsters in a bad 1950's B-movie. The opposing player is too busy wetting his pants to even think of taking a shot. And you know what the great part is? You can't be penalized for having too many men on the ice, because they're not men, they're rats. Brilliant!

NOTE: Somehow, I managed to go nearly five years without noticing that I never gave this logo the penalty for having a hockey player in it. How the hell did I miss that? Oh well, the score is now correct.

Final Score: 69 points.
Penalties: Compund, 13 pts; Alliteration, 2 pts; Cartoon, 17 pts; Anthropomorphization, 10 pts; Name-Logo, 2 pts; Equip-Logo (quadruply-egregious), 25 pts.
Bonuses: None.