I would dearly love to sum up in words how I feel about this logo. I can't tell you how much I wish I could. But I can't. The English language does not have words to describe how I feel. Even German, where "I love you" sounds like profanity, doesn't cut it. Bantu languages with their clicks and double plosives lack sounds bizarre enough to describe it. The best I can do -- and I have thought carefully about this -- is "RTEAAAAAAAPKPKPKPKPFRGTFRGTFRGTFRGTYIYI!" And that's just the first syllable.

Observe, first of all, the...creature in the logo. What the hell is that thing? It's supposed to be a bear (and you better believe they're taking the penalty for that). But it doesn't look like a bear to me. It looks like the bastard child of an albino gopher and a "Precious Moments" doll that ran afoul of The Joker from the Batman comics and got hit with that toxin that kills you and freezes your face into a twisted smile.

And I want to know what anything in the logo has to do with "Checkers" (except for the team's name being in the logo, of course). What does a bear have to do with Checkers? What does a gopher have to do with Checkers? What does the flag of Japan, which the gopher is standing in front of, have to do with Checkers? You could draw a caricature of Richard Nixon and it would have a closer relation to "Checkers" than anything in this logo. And Richard Nixon wasn't half as ugly as this thing.

This thing is so cruddy it makes me wish they'd go back to their old logo (shown at the left). And believe me, that's something I never thought I'd say. Their old logo was basically the same stupid concept as this one, but at least it was better-executed. Which isn't saying much.

Final Score: 85 points.
Penalties: Action, 3 pts; Alliteration, 2 pts; Cartoon, 17 pts; Anthropomorphization, 10 pts; Irrelevance (egregious), 21 pts; Name-Logo, 2 pts; Equip-Logo (quadruply-egregious), 25 pts; Yucky-Logo, 5 pts.
Bonuses: None.