In my review for the Cotton Kings' original logo, I noted that it was capable of inspiring deadly laughing sickness thanks to its pathetic, futile attempt to make a cotton plant look mean. This new logo doesn't do that, but it might inspire a deadly sleeping sickness.

Don't get me wrong: The new logo is an improvement. But it's incredibly boring. Not only is it boring, but it's derivative as well. The crossed sticks, the shield...I look at this and think to myself, I've seen this all before.

And in fact, I have seen most of it before. Most of this can be directly attributed to the logo the Los Angeles Kings used several years back. Both had the shield (never mind that shields are typically associated with knights, not kings). Both had the crossed hockey sticks. Both had the crown appearing on the shield. Both had the word "Kings" in silver letters on a black something-or-other across the shield. About the only real differences are a slightly different color scheme (silver, black, and blue instead of silver, black, and purple), the fact that the city name is on a banner (that may actually be original, but it doesn't help much if it is), and the presence of the cotton plant on the shield.

It is the cotton plant that drives home precisely what the problem is. The problem is that "Cotton Kings" is a stupid name, and I can't imagine someone coming up with a logo for it that's actually good. As I said in my review of their original logo, doesn't this town have something going for it other than a freaking crop? How is it that every team that ever existed in Georgia, Alabama, or Mississippi could find something else to name their team after, but these guys couldn't?

But really, cotton isn't the problem here. The "kings" part is. Using "_____ Kings" as a name never works, but teams keep doing it. I blame Ambrose O'Brien for this. You probably have no idea who that is, so let me explain. Way back in 1909, Ambrose O'Brien owned two teams in the newly-formed National Hockey Association (forerunner to today's National Hockey League). One of these teams was the Cobalt Silver Kings, and the other was the Renfrew Creamery Kings. Two things become immediately apparent:

1. Both teams' names were followed the format of "_____ Kings", and

2. Both teams' names were hopelessly lame.

Unfortunately, none of these "civic booster" items are particularly intimidating. Wheat and Salmon, for example, fall into the category of "Things I Eat" -- a category whose overlap with "Things that Intimidate Me" is very small. The others don't fare much better. (I admit that some of the large, poisonous lizards intimidate me, but the smaller ones? Forget it.) And somehow, being the "King" of one of these things isn't any more intimidating. (Again, I concede that a team full of Lizard Kings is pretty intimidating, but this is because Jim Morrison has been dead for over thirty years. The idea of a hockey team composed entirely of zombies ought to intimidate anyone. Hell, the smell alone should send people screaming toward the exits.)

When you use this sort of name, you have two ways to approach your logo. You can make a logo about kings, or a logo about whatever kind of king you are. If you compare this logo to the old one, you'll see that taking the king approach is probably the way to go. But it still has its limitations. If you doubt this, just look at the logo again.

My suggestion: The team should change their name. Lubbock has better things to name a team after. One of the first UFO sightings was in Lubbock. The town was hit by an F-5 tornado (Tornadoes is a decent name for just about any team from Alabama to Indiana to Nebraska to Texas). There's a major archaeological site in town, with everything from Ice Age humans to mastodons being found there. You don't have to name teams in Lubbock after clothing fibers. I would also add "And even if you choose to do so, you don't have to come up with such a bad logo". But frankly, I don't have any evidence to support that last statement.

Final Score: 66 points.
Penalties: Kings, 8 pts; Compound, 21 pts; Alliteration, 2 pts; Irrelevance, 14 pts; Name-Logo, 2 pts; Equip-Logo (egregious), 8 pts; Fade, 6 pts; Ripoff, 4 pts; Yucky-Name, 4 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -3 pts.