The first thought many people have when they hear the name "Texas Wildcatters" is "What's a wildcatter?" The explanation the team gives is that it's someone who engages in speculative oil mining — in other words, someone who sticks a hole in the ground and hopes oil comes out of it. This, I think, is an accurate metaphor for minor league hockey. Let's face it: minor league hockey is not a profitable business, especially in places like Texas. Sticking a hockey team in eastern Texas and hoping it makes money is in many ways like sticking a hole in the ground and hoping oil comes out of it. It's a wonderfully apt name — although probably in a way that the owners didn't intend.

Incidentally, there is another meaning of "wildcatter", which is someone who takes part in a wildcat strike. A "wildcat strike", for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is where a union does not call an official strike, but the members decide to strike anyway. Given the reputation people from Texas have, this is a great juxtaposition of Texas and non-Texas attitudes. On the one hand, you've got the "Don't tell us what to think or do, we'll think and do whatever the hell we want" attitude that exemplifies the state between New Mexico and Lousiana. On the other hand, it involves unions. Unions aren't highly thought of anywhere in the South that I've seen, but in Texas I imagine "union" is one of the strongest profanities imaginable, and not just because of the Civil War. Have you ever seen the joke about the girl in college who writes a letter explaining that she got a skull fracture when her dorm caught fire and she's pregnant and had an STD and the father is of another race, and the punchline is that none of that's true but she got a few bad grades and made up all the other stuff so her parents would keep a sense of perspective?* When that story gets told in Texas, they skip all the stuff about fires and interracial pregnancy and just say she joined a union. That's a lot scarier to a Texan.

Looking at the logo itself, I see that yet again we have not only a cartoon character in the logo, but one I recognize. The man in this logo is drawn almost identically to how Bruce Wayne was drawn in the 1990s show Batman: The Animated Series. That is clearly his face, and the black and yellow outfit he has on even matches the colors in Batman's logo. Batman must be hunting down one of the inmates of Arkham Asylum who escaped and fled to Texas. (Given Beaumont's proximity to Lousiana, I'm guessing Killer Croc.) And his cover, I would surmise, is that Bruce Wayne is probably looking for a couple of oil fields to buy. (I suppose it could also be the eco-terrorist Poison Ivy he's really after). Why Bruce Wayne is wearing hockey gloves and carrying a puck and stick, I don't know. (I'd come up with another villain for Batman to be chasing, but I don't actually read comic books so I can't think of any. If my brother-in-law reads this, though, I'm sure he'll come up with half a dozen possibilities I've never even heard of.)

Why a team in Texas is putting Bruce Wayne in their logo is beyond me. Isn't Gotham City supposed to be a thinly-veiled New York? Is there anywhere in the world the average Texan hates more than New York?

Also a mystery: why does he have a miniature oil rig on top of his hat? It looks like some novelty item you'd wear to a Houston Oilers game, if the Oilers hadn't moved to Tennessee in 1996.

What I do understand it why they put a star in the background. They're in Texas; of course they have a star in the background. I give them credit for what is probably the most subtle state reference I've ever seen come out of a team in Texas, but it's still a state reference. Is this sort of attachment to one's state common among people from all over the country and I'm just oblivious to it? I admit I'm a bad person to ask about being attached to a place: I moved before my first birthday, and by my tenth I had lived in seven different houses in five different cities in three different states. So maybe everyone but me is like this. But if so, the Texans are ten times more obvious about it. I sometimes wonder if they're like vampires, taking a piece of their native earth around the world with them when they travel so they can sleep. The only other place I can think of where the people are that convinced of their home's inherent superiority is New York City.

Hmm. Maybe that's why they put Bruce Wayne in the logo.

* If not, check out this web page, but there's little point now since I've already spoiled the joke for you.

Final Score: 38 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 5 pts; cartoon, 17 pts; Name-logo, 2 pts; Equip-logo (doubly-egregious), 11 pts; State (egregious), 6 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -3 pts.