AHL teams using the same name (and often logo) as their parent team are nothing new. The practice arguably dates back to 1955 when the new farm team for the Montreal Canadiens was dubbed the Rochester Americans; the first indisputable example is the TideWater Red Wings way back in 1971. Since then there have been several examples that worked fairly well (Utica Devils, Binghamton Rangers, Providence Bruins), and others that didn't (Prince Edward Island Senators, Binghamton Whalers, Capital District Islanders). Considering that Worcester is near the middle of Massachusetts, I'm filing this one in the "didn't" category.

In most circumstances, this would be nothing more than a nice thing to make fun of the team for. But thanks to the classic (i.e., back when it was actually funny) era of Saturday Night Live, this team's name represents a missed opportunity.

Ladies and gentlemen, I submit the following idea for your approval: The "Worcester Land Sharks". Do that, and instantly the name is cooler.

It's not original, mind you. The National Lacrosse League had a team called the Columbus Land Sharks for two seasons. But then again, how many teams have been named "Bears" over the years? Heck, how many teams are named "Admirals" right now? Being the second team with a name is not a problem. As long as they don't duplicate the logo the Land Sharks used, it should be fine.

Of course, they shouldn't really be duplicating the logo they have now, either. The current logo, to be blunt, sucks. "But Daniel," you may be saying, "they're just using the San Jose Sharks' logo." Yes, they are. Guess what: The San Jose Sharks' logo, to be blunt, sucks.

And its suckage may have a ripple effect. A reader recently wrote to me asking if the San Jose Sharks were responsible for the deplorable trend of broken sticks in logos. I can't prove that they are, of course, because I would have to find every single logo that had ever been used prior to the San Jose Sharks' debut, and a great many of them are lost to time. But I spent more time than a well-balanced person would looking at various websites with archives of old sports logos, and couldn't find any predating the Sharks. I think we can safely lay the blame for this trend at the doorstep of the HP Pavilion at San Jose.

In fact, there are two really bad trends in recent decades whose origins can be so precisely pinpointed. The other is the magenta and teal trend which started with the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. The conclusion, I think, is clear: For the good of hockey, California must be destroyed. Now. No, I don't mean hockey in California, I mean California itself. This may seem drastic, but think of the many other things in California whose desctruction would be beneficial to mankind:

• The RIAA
• The cast of Real Wives of Orange County
• Orange County itself
• 71% of the earthquakes that occur in the United States in a typical year
• The ludicrously named "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim"
• Valley girls
• Hollywood
• The Dallas Cowboys (if we do this on a Sunday that they're playing the Oakland Raiders...and let's face it, the Raiders wouldn't be a great loss, either).

I'm not saying there wouldn't be unfortunate casualties. The loss of Ghiradelli Chocolate would be sad, for example, although there are plenty of other good chocolatiers around the world so we could survive this loss if we had to. And we'd have to find a way to get the cast of Mythbusters safely to Oregon without tipping off the rest of the state. (I should probably warn my friend Hans, who writes the Death Pool Report for ProHockeyNews.com, too.) But all in all, this idea has merit and is worth investigating.

But for the meantime, we'll just have to suffer through the maladies that have spread from Anaheim and San Jose across the North American hockey landscape. Fortunately, both of these trends are dying down. I thought the trend of having AHL teams names after their NHL affiliates was dying, too, but between Lowell, Quad City, and these guys (and this is just in the past two years), I'm not so sure anymore. I think this trend, like the New Kids on the Block, is making an unwarranted and unappreciated return.

In fact, as I look at it, I can't help but notice that Lowell and Worcester, two of the most recent perpetrators of this trend, are both in Massachusetts. Furthermore, the Providence Bruins are just over the border, and another offending team, the Binghamton Senators, are farther away but still in an adjacent state. What's going on here? Do we need to take preventive measures here as well? Must Massachusetts be destroyed along with California?

I have decided about it and decided to let Massachusetts stay. I know that may sound odd, given that it's a chance to get rid of Ted Kennedy, the New England Patriots, and Boston baked beans (I despise beans...and whoever thought of putting them in chili should be taken out and shot). But the man who writes Questionable Content, possibly my favorite online comic strip, lives in Massachusetts. That alone justifies the state's continued existence.

If you live in that state and should happen to run into that man, thank him. You owe him big time.

Final Score: 20 points.
Penalties: Name-Logo, 2 pts; Equip-logo (egregious for the broken stick), 8 pts; Offspring, 5 pts; Yucky-Logo, 5 pts.
Bonuses: None.