Augusta GreenJackets

109

If you're not a golf fan, you may not understand this name. Augusta, Georgia is home to the Masters, which is one of the four big professional golf tournaments. For some reason, the winner of the Masters is awarded a green jacket. I'd tell you why, but I don't know. As best as I can determine there's not an equivalent tradition for any of the other major golf tournaments. But for some reason, it's a really big deal. There's all these rules about it. For exmaple, the jacket is supposedly the personal property of the winner, but you're required to return it to the tournament after you've had it for a year. And even if you win again, you don't get to keep it for the next year. That's not precisely my idea of personal property, but I don't play golf, so what do I know? Other than better things to do than play golf, I mean. Anyway, you do get to wear the jacket around the course should you ever go back to the golf club that hosts the tournament for a visit. But what happens if two champions visit at the same time? Isn't it a faux pas to have the same outfit? Oh well, it's not like golfers are known for their fashion sense. Which, now that I think about it, is probably why they get a green jacket instead of some more sensible color like navy blue or charcoal grey.

Oh, and remember how I said you're required to return your jacket after a year? Apparently enforcement on that's a little lax. I say that because one of these jackets (or at least a convincing counterfeit) was found back in 1994 at a thrift store in Toronto, and someone bought the thing for a fiver and held onto it until a couple of years go, at which point they put it up for auction and the damn thing sold for US$139,000. I should point out that the Augusta National Golf Club (the club that hosts the Masters) confirmed its authenticity, although I'm skeptical because it's not like they were going to admit someone made a fake that looked that real. But still. Nearly a hundred and fifty grand for a freaking blazer. They don't even know whose it was. And what can you even do with it? You can't wear it in public for fear that a couple of tough-looking guys with golf clubs will show up and beat the crap out of you for wearing someone's personal property outside the golf club. I mean, I'm not criticizing the guy who sold it; more power to them. But whoever bought it...well, let's just say I'm not going to feel much sympathy if they show up one day with bruises the shape of a three-wood head.

Logos for the baseball team have generally featured a bee-like insect of some sort, usually wearing a green jacket. But the most recent logo does away with that. Instead, the insect itself is green. That could of course lead to jokes about the Green Hornet, so they countered that by making an unmistakeable golf reference in the logo: the insect is wearing a Tam O'Shanter. As you can see, it looks fairly ridiculous. Less ridiculous than I would have expected, but still fairly ridiculous. I would point out that golfers don't really wear Tam O'Shanters anymore, but it's not really worth it. Anyway, if you discount that, then the logo is devoid of any reference to any sport — no golf equipment, no baseball equipment; no anything aside from a bee/hornet/wasp/something and a Scottish hat. There's an elegance there that I can respect. Of course, the steroidal humanoid arms and the Tam O'Shantern conspire to make the whole thing look goofy, but it's an elegant kind of goofy. Which, now that I think about it, is probably the perfect description of golf.

Final Score: 109 points.
Penalties: Wordplay, 23 pts; Software, 27 pts; Compound, 34 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Name, 10 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts; Graphic, -9 pts.