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Fresno Grizzlies 15

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2012 August 22

See? This is how you make a logo with a bear in it! This isn't some cutesy little teddy bear. This is a bear to be afraid of. Just look at the expression on this bear's face. This is not a bear who's going to run away upon seeing you. This isn't even a bear that's going to growl to chase you away. This is a bear that's going to come after you with no warning whatsoever, catch you no matter what you do to get away, rip your nuts off with a single swipe of the paw, then eat them while you watch in horror. And why will the bear do this? Because bears are omnivores, and nuts are an important part of a bear's diet, that's why. And in case you're female, don't think this will protect you from that bear. Do you think bears can tell the difference between male humans and female humans? No, they can not. This bear will still chase you down, will still slash you in an area where you'd rather not be slashed, and when nothing falls to the ground, this bear will simply grab you and shake you by your lapels and scream in your face, "WHERE ARE MY NUTS?" And you will be unable to respond, partly out of fear, partly out of pain, but mostly because of the shock of being face to face with a bear that speaks perfect English. Well, not perfect English: for some reason the bear will have an accent like the exaggerated, stereotypical German accent, so it will sound more like "VEYR ARR MINE NOTES?" (I have no idea why the bear does this. Maybe the bear learned to speak English by old episodes of Hogan's Heroes and was particularly fond of Sergeant Schultz.) And when you don't answer this question, the bear will only get angrier and yell, "ANSWER ME! VEE HAFF VAYS OF MAKING YOU TALK!" Whatever you do, don't succumb to the temptation to respond "Your nuts are between your legs, you stupid bear!" Not only will this anger the bear, it isn't true. This is a girl bear. So don't be critical of her for not being able to tell you're a female human, because you're no better than she is on this front.

Final Score: 15 points.
Penalties: Equipment (egregious), 27 pts.
Bonuses: Logo, -12 pts.


This page Copyright ©2012 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved