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St. Lucie Mets 93

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2017 April 23

Not being Catholic, most of what I know about saints comes from places named after them. And usually, that's not much other than that there was a saint by that name. I have no idea who Saint Louis was. Nor Saint Ives. I know who Saint Mary was, but that's a pretty easy one. The reason I know there's a Saint Stephen isn't because there's a city named after him (it's because of the band Saint Étienne), but again, I have no idea who he was. I don't consider this a serious gap in my knowledge — I figure a non-Catholic doesn't need to know about the saints any more than a non-Buddhist needs to know who Maitreya and Avalokiteśvera are — but occasionally I get curious. For example, when I found out there was a village in Québèc called Saint-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha!, I had to see what I could find out. It was, to be honest, disappointing. First of all, the "du-Ha!-Ha!" isn't part of Louis's name. Rather, it's basically tacked onto the village name to differentiate it from other Saint Louises (Saint Louiss? Saints Louis? I really have no idea how to pluralize that) in much the same way that "upon Avon" is tacked onto the birthplace of William Shakespeare to differentiate it from the various other Stratfords in England. Second, the Louis in Saint-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha! wasn't actually a Saint. Depending on who you ask, he was either a vicar in the area or just one of the earlier settlers. So it's not even named after the same guy that the better known St. Louis is named after, which is why I still don't know who Saint Louis is.

Anyway, when I saw the name "St. Lucie Mets" I became curious about who Saint Lucie was. Well, sort of. I mean I eventually got curious. Okay, you want honesty? Here's honesty: There's nothing to say about the logo, and the city of Port Saint Lucie is less than sixty years old (the area wasn't even developed until the late 1950s), so I was sort of flailing for an idea of what to actually write about in this review when it occurred to me that I'd never heard of a Saint Lucie and I figured what the hell, I'll see what I can find about her.

So here's what scholars know about Saint Lucie (or as she's known in English, Saint Lucy): She was killed.

That's not me being flippant. That's pretty much all that's known about her. She was martyred during the Diocletianic Persecution in the very early Fourth Century. Beyond that, everything is legend. And most of it can reasonably be described as the sort of legends that have cropped up about damn near every female martyr from the early days. Her parents were rich (apparently martyrdom doesn't mean as much if the martyr has a humble background). She took a vow of virginity, because of course we all know that if you ever have sex then you don't really love God. And so forth. About a thousand years later, someone came up with the idea that before being killed Lucy's eyes were gouged out by either the guards who killed her or by herself (hey, whoever said legends have to be consistent?). Either way, her eyes supposedly were miraculously restored after her death. Okay, look, I know I'm no expert here, but is that really miraculous? Maybe someone found them and put them back. That eye-gouging part of the story is almost certainly B.S. in any case, seeing as how it took a millennium for anyone to say anything about it. But even if we assume for the sake of the discussion that it did happen, there's nothing in the legend saying that the eyes were actually destroyed. Maybe someone kept them as a souvenir. The point is, all we really know about her is she was martyred.

Oh, also, she was supposedly from Syracuse, Italy. But who knows if even that's true?

Anyway, for whatever reasons Lucy quickly became very popular among early Christians, and by the Eighth Century her feast day was being observed as far away as England. Given that her name basically means "light", she is the patron saint of the blind (the bit about her eyes being gouged out probably originated as an after-the-fact explanation for her being the patron saint of blindness by people who didn't know the meaning of her name). She's also the patron saint of those with poor eyesight. And salesmen, for some reason; no, I don't get that last one, either.

Her feast day is on December 13, so when the Spanish founded a settlement in the general vicinty of modern day Jupiter (located on the Jupiter River) on 1566 December 13, they named the settlement St. Lucie. This supposedly makes it the third-oldest place name of European origin in the United States, after St. Augustine FL (founded in 1565) and Florida itself (named in 1513). Somewhere along the way the name got transferred to a different river a bit farther north (it's not like the maps were super accurate in those days), and eventually became the name of one of Florida's counties. Then in the late 1950s, as I mentioned earlier, a new settlement was founded in the area. There was already a St. Lucie Village, so the new city was named Port St. Lucie, which makes perfect sense since there isn't actually a port in Port St. Lucie.

And that's really all there is to say. Which is still quite a lot, especially since all we really know about her is that she was killed.

Final Score: 93 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Script, 7 pts; Scenery, 11 pts; Offspring, 12 pts; Letter, 24 pts; Colorful, 31 pts.
Bonuses: None.


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