Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte*
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivieres*
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Alexandria Aces*
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna*
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders*
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Connecticut Tigers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Astros*
Florence Freedom
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels*
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Houston Apollos*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers*
Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers*
Kansas City T-Bones*
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Laredo Lemurs
Las Vegas 51s
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Mobile BayBears
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New Orleans Baby Cakes
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Normal CornBelters
Northern Colorado Owlz* Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Norwich Sea Unicorns*
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Storm Chasers
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Potros de Tijuana*
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Sarasota Reds*
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders*
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey*
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Chiefs
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Tucson Padres
Tulsa Drillers
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
West Virginia Power
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Burlington Bees 140

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2011 June 12

Starting this season, the Burlington Bees are affiliated with the Oakland Athletics. I like that. There's an elegance here: The Bees are affiliates of the A's. I'd like to see that extended to other leagues. But there's a problem, of course. The Bees are in the Midwest League, a few steps down from the A's. Ideally, the Bees name would belong to the A's' AAA affiliate. Currently that's the Sacramento River Cats. No problem: "River Cats" is a stupid name anyway, so we'll just make them the Sacramento Bees. Then we have to make the team in Midland, Texas change from the Midland Rock Hounds to the the Midland C's. (We can't use "Seas" because Midland is nowhere near the coast.) We'll make their logo a musical note. Then we have to turn the Stockland Ports into the Stockland D's (logo: a woman with large breasts), and the Vermont Lake Monsters into the Vermont F's (logo: a report card). Burlington fits into the "E" slot, and I have no idea what to use for a logo. I'm sure someone will think of something. Probably a bear. Every team that can't figure out what to put in their logo uses a bear sooner or later.

The sad thing about all this is that the Burlington team is the only team whose name wouldn't be improved by this. Okay, maybe Stockton loses out a little, but you can't convince me that "C's" is any worse than "Rock Hounds" or that "F's" is any worse than "Lake Monsters". And if you're going to seriously going to argue that "River Cats" is better than "Bees" then save your breath. In fact, hold your breath. Hold it it until you turn blue. You'll be doing the human race a favor, because your parents obviously scratched the 8-ball while playing gene pool.

The Bees' logo is a bee with a "B" on a ball cap — try saying that three times fast. She has a blue-and-yellow body, is wearing a white, short-sleeve shirt, and has antennae where her eyebrows should be. (Yes, I know bees don't have eyebrows, but I think you catch my drift.) She also has two arms and no legs, and wings coming out of her neck. Her body appears to have only two segments (bees normally have three). In other words, there is almost nothing accurate about the way this bee is drawn. Indeed, I'm calling this bee "she" just so there can be one accurate thing here, which is the stinger. Male bees don't have stingers, so if the bee is male, then there's nothing at all which is accurate.

Frankly, this thing doesn't look anything like a bee to me. She looks like a Martian. And now that I think about it, Burlington Martians wouldn't be a bad name. Neither would Sacramento Martians, Stockton Martians, or Vermont Martians. And Midland Martians sounds pretty darned cool if you ask me. The Rock Hounds should definitely change their name to the Martians. Burlington can keep the name Bees. I'll come up with something for Sacramento, Stockton, and Vermont another day.

Final Score: 140 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Script, 7 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts.
Bonuses: None.

This page Copyright ©2011 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved