Baseball


HOME
HOCKEY
OTHER

RULES
RANKINGS
HISTORY



TEAMS

Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Houston Apollos*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San
   Bernardino

Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars*
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers*
Kansas City Monarchs*
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Napa Silverados
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz*
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans*
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas*
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets*
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
West Virginia Power
Wichita Wind Surge*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
New Hampshire Fisher Cats 24

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2016 June 11

For those of you who don't know (and I didn't until I looked it up), there really is such thing as a fisher cat. But it's not a cat. Yeah, I know, but I didn't name the thing. A fisher cat is a type of mustelid (a family of animals including weasels, badgers, ferrets, and so forth), and is most closely related to martens. As you can see to the left, they're cute as the dickens, but they don't look like cats. But hey, folklorists think that legends about mermaids got started when sailors saw seals and mistook their faces for the faces of women. Confusing this little cutie-pie with a cat is nothing compared to that.

Not only are fisher cats not cats, they're also not fishers, from what I could find. What I mean by that is they don't eat fish. They tend to eat hares, porcupines, and various rodents, along with mushrooms and fruits for variety. How they ever got the name fisher cat is beyond me. I would gu—

WAIT A SECOND. WHAT DID I JUST WRITE?

They eat porcupines.

THEY EAT PORCUPINES.

THEY EAT MOTHERFUCKING PORCUPINES.

THEY EAT MOTHERFUCKING PORCUPINES, MOTHERFUCKER.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I KNOW. I'M WRITING IN ALL CAPS AND SWEARING A LOT. I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO GIVE ME A MINUTE. I'M HAVING A FUCKING EPIPHANY HERE. THERE'S A CUTE LITTLE ANIMAL THAT EATS MOTHERFUCKING PORCUPINES. MY ENTIRE WORLDVIEW HAS BEEN TURNED ON ITS EAR. HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. SHIT.

You know what, that's just awesome. I mean that in the literal, original sense of "inspiring awe". This animal gets hungry, looks at a damn porcupine, and says to itself, "I'ma kill that son of a bitch and then I'ma eat it!" And it does. It fights a porcupine, it wins the fight, it kills the porcupine, and then it eats that son of a bitch. You remember that video of the honey badger from a few years back? To hell with the honey badger. Honey badger does give a shit compared to this badass. I'd say that fisher cat is out of fucks to give, but that implies he had some and ran out. I'm guessing this little bastard never had a fuck to give in his entire life. I think an evolutionary mutation removed the fucks-to-give gene from the entire species back when they first diverged from martens. For all I know that's the difference between fisher cats and martens: the latter still have their fucks-to-give gene and the former don't.

You know, when I first started preparing for this review, I thought I was dealing with a lame name and a lame logo. I thought "Fisher Cats" was a silly, made-up compound word, and I thought the creature in the logo was the worst-drawn cat I'd ever seen. Oh, how wrong I was. Now I get it. This is not a lame name. It is one of the greatest names any sports team has ever had. And as for the logo, I now see that it's not a poorly-drawn cat but a well-drawn fisher cat. Furthermore, the fisher cat has a look on its face that says it's about to fuck you up, bad. I'm not even going to complain about the baseball in the logo, because I don't want to piss this thing off. Leave me alone, little fisher cat. I'm harmless, and not that tasty. I'm sure there's a porcupine nearby that would be much more delicious. Go attack it instead.

Please?

Final Score: 24 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 17 pts; Equipment, 13 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts.


This page Copyright ©2016 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved