Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds*
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Frontier Greys*
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars*
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country Dockhounds*
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Mariachis de Guadalajara
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds*
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans*
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas*
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island Ferry Hawks*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners
Syracuse Mets*
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wild Health Genomes*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes*
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes 37

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2009 May 17

First of all, let me state that "Rancho Cucamonga Quakes" is a very hard name to say. Something about all the velar sounds in the name turns it into a minor tongue twister. Granted, it's not as bad as if there was a team named the St. Petersburg Pickedapeckofpickledpeppers, but it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue like Chico Outlaws, either.

Not that I blame the team or its original owners. It's not their fault the name of the city they happen to be in is "Rancho Cucamonga". For that, you can blame people who incorporated the town under the name Rancho Cucamonga. But they were only naming the city after the rancho that used to be located where the town was going to be. So maybe we should blame the people who named the rancho Rancho Cucamonga in the first place. But that's not entirely fair, either, because they were simply using the name of the Native American nation who had inhabited the area before being displaced by the Europeans. And I'm not inclined to blame the Kucamongan nation for having the name Kucamongan. I'm sure they would have found the name "English" to be rather silly.

But if the team's original owners couldn't do anything about "Rancho Cucamonga", they could have at least chosen something other than "Quakes" to follow it with. After all, "Quakes" has a couple of problems. First, as noted, it's hard to say right after "Ranco Cucamonga". Second, if you're going to use a team name with a local reference, it should be something that sets it apart from other teams in the league — and for a team in the California League, an earthquake reference just doesn't do that. (They're only getting half the points for "Local" as a result.)

Third, it's not easy to come up with a logo for a team named after earthquakes. The logo this team uses proves it. Unable to come up with anything really good, they just went with a BIC.1 There are cracks in the name which are probably intended to indicate a ripping of the earth's skin, but except for the big rip in the middle, it doesn't work. The rest of them look like the cracks in all the stone implements you used to see on The Flintstones.

But what else can you do? Other sports teams with earthquake-themed names have had similar problems. The California Quake of the Women's American Football League used the same motif, putting a series of rips in a football. The Long Beach Aftershock of the Women's Professional Football League had a seismograph reading under the name. The San Jose Earthquakes of Major League Soccer also had a seismograph reading in their logo, this time across the word instead of under it. So you see what I mean. I'm not saying I like the BIC logo, but it probably was about the best they could do if they wanted to use the name "Quakes".

This is why I think they shouldn't have used that name, nor anything along those lines.

So what should they have used? Well, sometimes you have to go with the approach of a name that is so ridiculous that it works. Something with totally over-the-top wordplay, such as (and these are all real teams, past or present) the Amarillo Dillas, the Buffalo Wings, or the Macon Whoopees. That's what this team should aim for. Ladies and gentlemen, I submit for your approval: the Rancho Cucamonga Cucarachas. The logo could be a roach using four arms to hold a bat. The slogan? "You can't get rid of us!" And I don't have to tell you what their theme song would be. Yes, it's awful. What are you gonna do? Pick a good name? Not in this city, you're not. So go for the gusto. Baseball fans of Rancho Cucamonga, life has handed you lemons. Make lemonade...with bugs floating in it.

1"Baseball in Circle" logo.

Final Score: 37 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Equipment, 13 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: Local (half-value), - 3 pts.

This page Copyright ©2009 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved