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Iowa Wild 23

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Posted 2013 December 16

I'm sorry, but the name Iowa Wild just doesn't work. When you hear the word "Wild" combined with a state name, certain states work and others...not so much. I think we would all agree that Alaska Wild works. I think we would all agree that Wyoming Wild works. We would not all agree that Maryland Wild works, but anyone who thinks it doesn't has never been to Baltimore. And, of course, Minnesota Wild works. But Iowa Wild doesn't.

I'm not saying it makes perfect sense that Minnesota Wild works while Iowa Wild doesn't. The two states share a fairly long border, so the name shouldn't work so well in one state and so poorly in another. But regardless of how similar the two states are in reality, in people's minds they're very different from each other. Minnesota is the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes. Minnesota is miles and miles of national parks and untamed wilderness. Iowa is...cornfields. Iowa is farmland. Iowa is unwild tamedness.

Again, I'm not saying this is accurate. Iowa isn't that tamed (although it's worth pointing out that it's the one state west of the Mississippi that has neither any national forests nor any national grasslands). But this is how people view the state. I doubt even the people of Iowa itself view is as a land of untamed wilderness. I know the team simply got it's name from being the Minnesota NHL team's affiliate, but the name makes about as much sense as the Binghamton Senators.

But still, being affiliated with the Minnesota Wild and using the same name does have one advantage, which is that the Minnesota Wild have one of the coolest logos in all of sports so the team in Iowa gets to use— wait a second.

Seriously? The official logo is that stupid wordmark that looks like a baseball logo? I know they use Minnesota's logo on their away jerseys, and from the photos I've seen it's apparently also what they have at center ice. But apparently that's not the official logo. They have the option to use the logo, and they actually do use it, but they can't let it be the official logo? What, is the Minnesota logo too "wild" for Iowa?

<sigh>They really should've just called themselves the Iowa Tame and been done with it.

Final Score: 23 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 5 pts; Singular, 6 pts; Name-logo (quadruply egregious), 7 pts; Offspring, 5 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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