Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte*
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivieres*
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Alexandria Aces*
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna*
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders*
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Connecticut Tigers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Astros*
Florence Freedom
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels*
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Houston Apollos*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers*
Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers*
Kansas City T-Bones*
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Laredo Lemurs
Las Vegas 51s
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Mobile BayBears
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New Orleans Baby Cakes
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Normal CornBelters
Northern Colorado Owlz* Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Norwich Sea Unicorns*
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Storm Chasers
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Potros de Tijuana*
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Sarasota Reds*
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders*
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey*
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Chiefs
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Tucson Padres
Tulsa Drillers
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
West Virginia Power
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Hagerstown Suns 104

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2014 April 10

This logo blows my mind.

I assume that the baseball is supposed to be part of the sun, not positioned in front of it. I assume that in part because the circle formed by the baseball is pretty much in the center of the sun's rays, and in part because the team is not called the Hagerstown Baseballs In Front Of The Suns, which means that the logo must be a drawning of the sun, which in turn means that the baseball must be part of the sun. And with this in mind, there is some seriously crazy shit going on here.

I'm not taking about the fact that the sun has baseball stitching. Fine, whatever. Call it sunspots, call it artistic license. That's not really the strange part.

Nor is the fact that the sun has a nose and mouth. After all, we've all probably seen a hundred different drawings of the sun that gave it facial features. We can't see it because of the sunglasses, but we can safely assume the sun has eyes, and there's nothing unusual there. But we have hit upon the problem:

The sun.

Is wearing.


Think about that for just a moment. The sun is wearing special eyewear intended to protect it from...itself. How is that even supposed to work? Sunglasses work by dampening the light rays coming toward you. There are no light rays coming toward the sun. And worse yet, these appear to be mirrored sunglasses. Won't that mean the sun's eyes actually get more light, not less? That seems right to me. Hold on a second. I can test this by putting on some mirrored sunglasses and holding a little flashlight right beside my head at eye level, and I just happen to have some mirrored sunglasses and a miniature maglight, so...

Yes, there's axtually a lot more light entering my eyes that way and oh, ny the way, I can't see a famn thing right now and thank Fod for that touchg typing class I took back in high school. Please gorive any typose in this paragraphj. Can't bne helped; I can't see what I'm tryping. Shjit, I better take abreak before I go any further.

So as you can see, giving the sun sunglasses shouldn't be helping the sun at all. On the other hand, it might be an idea worth pursuing in response to global warming. All we need to do is figure out what material is semi-transparent and has a melting point of higher than 5000°C (9032°F). Then we just have to figure out how to make them, and once we make them we need to figure out how to get them up to the sun. Let's see...the space shuttle (yes, I know it's retired, but I'm just looking for a decent estimate here) has a payload of around 10,000 kg. Let me just work out how much a pair of sun-sized sunglasses would weigh here. Let's see...a regular pair of sunglasses weights roughly 50 grams and is in the ballpark of 12 cm wide, so and to be big enough for the sun they'd need to be about 140,000,000,000 cm wide, so, let me do some calculations here...oh, roughly 1,600,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 kg, assuming I remembered to carry the two. Hmm. Okay, there's a few bugs to work out here. That's what engineers are for.

Only slightly less baffling than the sunglasses is the baseball cap. Again, baseball caps were designed to shield a player's eyes from the sun. I'm fairly certain that's not going to work any better. If you want to test that theory, just grab yourself a baseball cap and a maglight. But don't expect me to do it. My wife has taken the flashlight away from me on the grounds that I can't be trusted with it. And honestly, I suspect she has a point.

Final Score: 104 points.
Penalties: Equipment (egregious), 27 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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