Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Sky Carp*
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Charros de Jalisco*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Conspiradores de Querétaro*
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Empire State Greys*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Baseball Club*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders
Grand Junction Jackalopes
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons*
Greensboro Grasshoppers*
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country DockHounds
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Stormers*
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds
New England Knockouts*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Oakland Ballers
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Baseball Club*
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Emperors*
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island FerryHawks
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
Yolo High Wheelers
York Revolution
Lake Erie Crushers 188

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2018 April 7

The Lake Erie Crushers (based in Avon, Ohio) get their name and logo from the Ohio wine industry and—

Wait a second. Show of hands here: Who has ever heard of the Ohio wine industry? Hmm...I don't see any hands raised right now. Of course I don't; I'm staring at a computer screen and can't actually see if you did raise your hand. But I suspect that even if I could I wouldn't see many hands raised, because it's unlikely that anyone outside of Ohio is really that familiar with the Ohio wine industry. Probably not too many people inside it, either.

When I first read the bit about a team in Ohio being named after wine I literally laughed out loud. I figured it couldn't have much of a wine industry. So I did some checking and...well, I'm not really sure. You could argue it either way if you wanted to. On one hand, Ohio's 208 wineries are approximately 2% of the wineries in the entire country, and when you consider that there are fifty states, you'd expect a state to have roughly two percent of the wineries. And in terms of production, they're seriously small-fry, producing roughly one quarter of one percent of all the wine produced in the U.S. But guess what? That actually gets them in the top ten in terms of number of wineries (8th, to be precise), and they barely miss the top ten (11th) in production. We all know that California dominates American wine production, but did you know it dominates it to the point of having 45% of the wineries and 86% of the production? The only other states that have more than 5% of the wineries are Oregon and Washington (8% each); the only other states that produce more than 1% of the wine are Washington (5%) and New York (4%).

(Don't ask what state has the fewest. I was curious and started to do a little checking, but I quickly realized that finding out would require spending at least a minute or two looking into every single state's wine industry, and I'm not that curious. Suffice it to say that none of them have as many as California. Except California, of course.)

The fact that Ohio actually ranks fairly high in wine production nonwithstanding, I'm still snickering at the idea. To be fair, I live in the state that produces more wine than Ohio, and I'd laugh if anyone tried to name a baseball team here after wine. And the logo certainly isn't helping matters any. We've got an anthropomorphized grape holding a bat with a bunch of grapes hanging off it. Assuming the bat is regulation length, the grapes on the bunch are approximately normal size, and the anthropomorphized grape is somewhere around half a meter (20") tall.

I don't know how to reconcile a half-meter-tall anthropomorphized grape with normal-sized grapes, but every idea I can come up with is fairly disturbing:

1. The smaller grapes are the larger grape's children. Question number one, is the larger grape the smaller grapes' mother or father? Question number two, is the larger grape aware of the fact that several of his/her children have fallen off the bunch and are presumably falling to their deaths? This grape clearly isn't going to be winning any "parent of the year" awards any time soon. Question three, how do anthropomorphic grapes mate, given the fact that they're basically big heads with arms coming out of where the ears should be?

2. The larger grape is no relation to the smaller grapes and is keeping them around as a snack. Sure, grapes are a healthy snack. But I believe this is what's commonly referred to as "cannibalism".

3. The smaller grapes are a sort of good luck charm. That's no better. Who ever heard of grapes being a good luck charm? And since it's a grape doing this, who ever heard of babies being a good luck charm? I certainly wouldn't hang babies off a baseball bat as a good luck charm. That would be sick, and after a couple of days they'd start to smell bad. Maybe they're not real grapes, and that's not nearly so sick, but it's still pretty damn weird. Would I hang babydolls off a bat as a good luck charm? I'm thinking no.

4. I'm really overthinking things and need to just knock it off. Um, yeah. We'll go with that.

Final Score: 85 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 17 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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