Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte*
Aigles de Trois-Rivieres*
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Alexandria Aces*
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna*
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Auburn Doubledays*
Augusta GreenJackets
Batavia Muckdogs
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Bluefield Blue Jays
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Bristol Pirates
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Burlington Bees
Burlington Royals
Calgary Vipers*
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights*
Charlotte Stone Crabs
Chattanooga Lookouts
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders*
Clinton LumberKings
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Connecticut Tigers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Danville Braves
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
Elizabethton Twins
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Astros*
Florence Freedom
Florida Fire Frogs*
Fort Myers Miracle
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greeneville Reds
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers*
Hagerstown Suns
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers*
Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Johnson City Cardinals
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars
Kannapolis Intimidators
Kansas City T-Bones
Kingsport Mets
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Laredo Lemurs
Las Vegas 51s
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mahoning Valley Scrappers
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Osprey
Mobile BayBears
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Britain Bees*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New Orleans Baby Cakes
Norfolk Tides
Normal CornBelters
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Orem Owlz
Ottawa Champions
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pawtucket Red Sox
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Pittsburg Diamonds
Portland Sea Dogs
Potomac Nationals
Potros de Tijuana*
Princeton Rays
Pulaski Mariners*
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
River City Rascals
Rochester Red Wings
Rockland Boulders
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salem-Keizer Volcanoes
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
San Rafael Pacifics
Saraperos de Saltillo
Sarasota Reds*
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders*
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
State College Spikes
Staten Island Yankees
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Chiefs
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Texas AirHogs
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Tucson Padres
Tulsa Drillers
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Vermont Lake Monsters*
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
West Virginia Black Bears
West Virginia Power
Williamsport Crosscutters
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
York Revolution
Lake Erie Crushers 188

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2018 April 7

The Lake Erie Crushers (based in Avon, Ohio) get their name and logo from the Ohio wine industry and—

Wait a second. Show of hands here: Who has ever heard of the Ohio wine industry? Hmm...I don't see any hands raised right now. Of course I don't; I'm staring at a computer screen and can't actually see if you did raise your hand. But I suspect that even if I could I wouldn't see many hands raised, because it's unlikely that anyone outside of Ohio is really that familiar with the Ohio wine industry. Probably not too many people inside it, either.

When I first read the bit about a team in Ohio being named after wine I literally laughed out loud. I figured it couldn't have much of a wine industry. So I did some checking and...well, I'm not really sure. You could argue it either way if you wanted to. On one hand, Ohio's 208 wineries are approximately 2% of the wineries in the entire country, and when you consider that there are fifty states, you'd expect a state to have roughly two percent of the wineries. And in terms of production, they're seriously small-fry, producing roughly one quarter of one percent of all the wine produced in the U.S. But guess what? That actually gets them in the top ten in terms of number of wineries (8th, to be precise), and they barely miss the top ten (11th) in production. We all know that California dominates American wine production, but did you know it dominates it to the point of having 45% of the wineries and 86% of the production? The only other states that have more than 5% of the wineries are Oregon and Washington (8% each); the only other states that produce more than 1% of the wine are Washington (5%) and New York (4%).

(Don't ask what state has the fewest. I was curious and started to do a little checking, but I quickly realized that finding out would require spending at least a minute or two looking into every single state's wine industry, and I'm not that curious. Suffice it to say that none of them have as many as California. Except California, of course.)

The fact that Ohio actually ranks fairly high in wine production nonwithstanding, I'm still snickering at the idea. To be fair, I live in the state that produces more wine than Ohio, and I'd laugh if anyone tried to name a baseball team here after wine. And the logo certainly isn't helping matters any. We've got an anthropomorphized grape holding a bat with a bunch of grapes hanging off it. Assuming the bat is regulation length, the grapes on the bunch are approximately normal size, and the anthropomorphized grape is somewhere around half a meter (20") tall.

I don't know how to reconcile a half-meter-tall anthropomorphized grape with normal-sized grapes, but every idea I can come up with is fairly disturbing:

1. The smaller grapes are the larger grape's children. Question number one, is the larger grape the smaller grapes' mother or father? Question number two, is the larger grape aware of the fact that several of his/her children have fallen off the bunch and are presumably falling to their deaths? This grape clearly isn't going to be winning any "parent of the year" awards any time soon. Question three, how do anthropomorphic grapes mate, given the fact that they're basically big heads with arms coming out of where the ears should be?

2. The larger grape is no relation to the smaller grapes and is keeping them around as a snack. Sure, grapes are a healthy snack. But I believe this is what's commonly referred to as "cannibalism".

3. The smaller grapes are a sort of good luck charm. That's no better. Who ever heard of grapes being a good luck charm? And since it's a grape doing this, who ever heard of babies being a good luck charm? I certainly wouldn't hang babies off a baseball bat as a good luck charm. That would be sick, and after a couple of days they'd start to smell bad. Maybe they're not real grapes, and that's not nearly so sick, but it's still pretty damn weird. Would I hang babydolls off a bat as a good luck charm? I'm thinking no.

4. I'm really overthinking things and need to just knock it off. Um, yeah. We'll go with that.

Final Score: 85 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 17 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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