| West Michigan Whitecaps
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Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17
U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted
work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of
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their inclusion here.
Posted 2012 July 4
Last week, I reviewed a team that was located over a thousand navigable
miles from the ocean but was nonetheless named after an oceangoing
vessel. This week, we have something similar...maybe. The West Michigan
Whitecaps are, despite the name, not located on the Michigan coast.
Instead, they are located along the Grand River in Comstock Park,
roughly fifty miles upstream. Comstock Park is a suburb of Grand
Rapids, and the name Grand Rapids would certainly imply that
somewhere nearby is a point where the water hits some form of obstacle
which would result in whitecaps. The problem is that I can't find any
such place when I look at the Grand River in the Grand Rapids/Comstock
Park vicinity unless you count man-made dams. But I'm just looking at
Google Earth; I've never actually been to Grand Rapids. It's definitely
possible that I'm missing something. I'll give them the benefit of the
doubt as far as the name goes.
I am not going to be nearly so forgiving regarding the logo. The logo
is one of those where I look at it and think to myself, "They were
trying to be awful, right? Please tell me this was a deliberate attempt
to be awful." After all, it features a wave with eyes. Let me say that
again so it has a moment to sink in: It features a wave with eyes. Said
wave also has what can best be described as a mouth, and in its mouth it
holds a baseball. The baseball is so big in relation to the mouth that
I can only assume it's supposed to be a ball gag. I've been writing
about logos for long enough to have seen some truly strange references
on them, but this is the first time I've seen a reference to sexual
fetishes. Is there something in the water in Comstock Park to explain
this? The water in the logo looks so pure and pollutant-free. There
must be some industrial park upstream that's illegally dumping
radioactive high-fructose corn syrup or something. That's the only
explanation I have.
In any case, there is one problem with the "trying to be awful" theory,
which is that it isn't awful enough. I'm reluctant to say that for fear
that someone with the team will read this and take it as a challenge,
but it's true. If you're going to aim for awful, you can't be
half-assed about it. You have to leave no doubt that the team meant to
go over the top. This logo doesn't accomplish that. If that's the
route they're trying to go down, they need to add some more ridiculous
elements (the obvious thought being to put a white baseball cap on the
wave). And if that's not the route they're trying to go down, then they
need to change course, because trying or not that's the direction
they're going.
Final Score: 109 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Reference, 10 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Equipment, 13 pts;
Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.
This page Copyright ©2012 Scott D. Rhodes.
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