Amarillo Sod Poodles

132

Do I really have to find something intelligent to say about all this? Is it even possible to say something intelligent about all this? Probably not. To be honest, I gave serious thought to letting the entire review for this team being one of those GIFs floating around the internet that feature a person repeatedly banging their head against a desk. Why say anything when there's nothing to say? When the only proper response is to scream in incoherent rage?

But then I found one little detail about the naming process that does warrant mention. As with many teams, this one released a lists of "finalists" via a name-the-team contest. The other finalists were just as ridiculous, and the people of Amarillo apparently let the team know what they thought of the names. And at this point the team said they wanted to pick a name that was stupid (they didn't use that word, of course) and that it was all about "wholesome family entertainment" (they actually did use those words).

Sod poodles. Wholesome family entertainment.

The team name has the word sod in it, and they think it's wholesome.

I'm guessing most of my readers already know this, but for those who don't, sod isn't just a term for a particular kind of dirt. It's also a slang word that means, um...well, how do I put this politely? How do I say this in a way that constitutes "wholesome family entertainment"?

Oh, that's right: I've never claimed this site is wholesome or family, and I'm not even certain I'd go so far as to call it entertainment. So I can just come out and say it: sod is British slang for fucking someone in the ass. And like many vulgar words, its use has expanded beyond the original meaning. It gets used dismissively; sod off and sod the police are basically equivalent to piss off and screw the police. You can also use sodding in much the same way as fucking (for example, you sodding idiot!), and as a noun the word is roughly equivalent to non-literal meanings of bastard (such as I hate that sod or, more gently, you almost have to feel sorry for that poor sod).

To be fair, the word is generally considered to be fairly mild these days. But still, it's a sexual reference. It's not "wholesome".

You may think, incidentally, that sod poodle is a common nickname for a prairie dog, in much the same way that tree rat is a common nickname for a squirrel. Apparently, no. A local TV channel actually ran a segment on their local news which featured a reporter going around asking people if they knew what a sod poodle is, if they've ever seen a sod poodle, et cetera. As you can imagine, no one had a clue.

The logo doesn't feature a sod poodle, which should be obvious since there's no such thing. It does feature a prairie dog, for what that's worth. And the prairie dog has a little cowboy hats on its head because when you've gone this far down Ridiculous Road you may as well make that left turn onto Stupid Street. The prairie dog is chewing on what appears to be a wheat stalk. That makes perfect sense in context, by which I mean nothing else about this makes any fucking sense so why should the wheat stalk? Like I said in the first paragraph, is it even possible to say anything intelligent about all this? I really should give up.

Or to put it more succinctly: Oh, sod it.

Final Score: 132 points.
Penalties: Compound, 34 pts; Script, 7 pts; Humanoid (note the eyes), 30 pts; Irrelevance, 39 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.