Burlington Royals

56

These Appalachian League teams are always tricky. The name is always taken from the parent team, the logo is usually taken from the parent team, and the cities are small enough that it's usually hard to find something interesting about them. Burlington, North Carolina is, sad to say, no exception.

In fact, when I was doing the research on Burlington, I only found one noteworthy thing about it. I wouldn't exactly call it a distinction that Burlington wants, however. The oldest person on death row in North Carolina is from Burlington.

I considered writing about her, but ultimately decided against it. I generally aim for making these reviews light-hearted and funny. I probably could write about her in a way that was funny if I tried, but it wouldn't exactly be light-heared. Some readers might consider it in poor taste. (They'd probably be right.) Some readers might decide I'm some kind of sicko with a twisted sense of humor. (They'd definitely be right, but I don't necessarily want anyone to figure that out.) In fact, let's just be totally honest here. I didn't just consider writing about her, I started to. Then I looked at what I wrote and realized that I thought it was probably in poor taste. And what I mean when I say that is that I thought it was probably in poor taste. I know myself well enough to know that if I of all people think to ask the question "Is that in poor taste?" the answer is always an emphatic, horror-stricken "Yes!" So I erased what I'd written and abandoned the idea. That doesn't leave me with much to write about, but trust me, we'll all be better off if we just pretend this never happened.

Final Score: 56 points.
Penalties: Script, 7 pts; Offspring, 12 pts; Equipment (home plate), 13 pts; Letter, 24 pts.
Bonuses: None.