| Burlington Royals
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Posted 2018 June 29
These Appalachian League teams are always tricky. The name is always
taken from the parent team, the logo is usually taken from the parent
team, and the cities are small enough that it's usually hard to find
something interesting about them. Burlington, North Carolina is, sad to
say, no exception.
In fact, when I was doing the research on Burlington, I only found one
noteworthy thing about it. I wouldn't exactly call it a distinction
that Burlington wants, however. The oldest person on death row in North
Carolina is from Burlington.
I considered writing about her, but ultimately decided against it. I
generally aim for making these reviews light-hearted and funny. I
probably could write about her in a way that was funny if I tried, but
it wouldn't exactly be light-heared. Some readers might consider it in
poor taste. (They'd probably be right.) Some readers might decide I'm
some kind of sicko with a twisted sense of humor. (They'd definitely be
right, but I don't necessarily want anyone to figure that out.) In
fact, let's just be totally honest here. I didn't just consider writing
about her, I started to. Then I looked at what I wrote and realized
that I thought it was probably in poor taste. And what I mean when I
say that is that I thought it was probably in poor taste. I know
myself well enough to know that if I of all people think to ask the
question "Is that in poor taste?" the answer is always an emphatic,
horror-stricken "Yes!" So I erased what I'd written and abandoned
the idea. That doesn't leave me with much to write about, but trust me,
we'll all be better off if we just pretend this never happened.
Final Score: 56 points.
Penalties: Script, 7 pts; Offspring, 12 pts; Equipment (home plate),
13 pts; Letter, 24 pts.
Bonuses: None.
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