Down East Wood Ducks

43

You're probably wondering where Down East is. Basically, it's eastern North Carolina. The term originally referred to a small group of communities in one county, and eventually got adopted as a term for the general area. In particular, the TV stations in Greenville, Washington, and New Bern typically refer to the market as the Down East area. It's not really all of eastern North Carolina (Wilmington isn't part of it, nor is the northeastern part of the state), but unless you live in the area the distinction isn't that important to you.

But apparently it seriously chaps some people's hides to hear the term used beyond the original area. It seems that when Kinston's new team announced that they would be called the Down East Wood Ducks a lot of people were really unhappy about it, and one of the things they were unhappy about was that Kinston isn't really a part of Down East. Speaking as someone who used to work in Kinston and lived about a half hour west of it, it was news to me that it isn't part of Down East. Of course it is. It's in that TV market, and until I heard about these complaints I had no idea it had any meaning other than the TV market. I had assumed it was just something someone had come up with as a way to refer to the area because there's not much distinct about the area (I've lived there, I'm allowed to say that) and "Greenville-Washington-New Bern" is too cumbersome.

Anyway, it turns out it did have another meaning, and like I said, some people's hides were quite chapped. That's the problem with so many people. So many people get so hung up over such little things. First you've got the language peevers (the world is not going to end if I say "laid" instead of "lay"). Then you've got the people who get hung up over little shit like whether a particular city is part of a particular area. And somewhere out there, there's probably some asshole who gets so bent out of shape about team logos that he's created an entire website dedicated to bitching about the ones he doesn't like. What is wrong with these people, anyway?

But back to the team. Having decided that the geographic portion of the name would be Down East rather than Kinston, the team proceeded to consider options for the other half of of the name. Candidates included Eagles (a frequently-used name for baseball teams in Kinston, going all the way back to 1925), HamHawks, Hogzillas, Shaggers, and Wood Ducks. As you may have noticed, with the exception of Eagles and Wood Ducks, all of those names are terrible. They do make sense in a local-culture sort of way (go look up Carolina shag on Wikipedia if you're wondering about that one; for now suffice it to say that it's a dance and not of the horizontal kind), but just because they make sense doesn't mean they're not terrible. Wood Ducks isn't a great name, but it's not bad. I've have probably just gone with Down East Ducks myself, but maybe they wanted the nickname to be more than one syllable. Hey, at least they didn't go with HamHawks, right?

The logo was designed by Brandiose, and longtime readers of this site know that I blame them for much that is wrong with minor league logos these days, but here I have no complaints. They didn't try to make the duck look intimidating (which would have inevitably failed; ducks just don't look intimidating), and instead went for a...is sassy the word I'm looking for? The duck looks like he's thinking "Come at me, bro," He knows you don't think he's anything to be scared of and he's double-duck daring you to find out. He's trying to get in your head. This may be the only logo where the word chutzpah may be applicable, and I kinda love it.

Which is good, because I wouldn't want to be like that asshole who creates an entire website just to bitch about logos he doesn't like. What is wrong with that guy, anyway?

Final Score: 43 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts.
Bonuses: None.