Daytona Tortugas

64

Between the 2014 and 2015 seasons, the Daytona Cubs switched their affiliation from Chicago's NL team to Cincinnati. That obviously necessitated a name change. In keeping with the trend in recent years in the Florida State League, the team decided to develop a nickname of its own rather than simply becoming the Daytona Reds. And in keeping with demographic trends in Florida, they decided to give the team a Spanish nickname rather than an English one. The name they settled on was Daytona Tortugas. "Tortuga", for the record, is Spanish for, um...well, to be honest, this is one of those moments where the English language doesn't work so well. The words "turtle", "tortoise", and "terrapin" all translate into Spanish as "tortuga". And apparently English speakers can't agree on just what these words mean. From what I could find, Americans (and presumably Canadians) have one set of definitions for the terms, Brits have another, and Australians a third. (Don't ask me how South Africans use the terms; I couldn't find any info on that.) Furthermore, there are language snobs trying to explain to most people in all of these places that the way they use terms is wrong wrong wrong, and of course it goes without saying that the American language snobs, British language snobs, and Australian language snobs don't agree with each other, either.

Furthermore, I'm guessing most people in all three places don't actually know what the local distinction is. I certainly didn't before I started looking into it. If you had asked me to define them, I'd have probably said that a turtle is any reptile with a shell, a tortoise is a really slow turtle whose hobbies include racing hares, and a terrapin is the mascot of the University of Maryland. Seriously, I've been to more zoos than I can remember, and I don't think I've ever seen an animal actually called a "terrapin". I wasn't certain if "terrapin" actually meant "turtle" or if the University of Maryland simply used a turtle as its mascot despite being called the "Terrapins" in much the same way that the University of North Carolina uses a ram despite their mascot being the "Tar Heels". I had no idea. And speaking of having no idea, I also learned today that apparently the sports teams from UNC are called "Tar Heels" and not "Tarheels". This wouldn't be noteworthy were it not for the fact that I'm a graduate of the University of North Carolina. On some level I should probably feel ashamed, but I don't.

Don't get me wrong. I know that the words "terrapin" and "tar heel" aren't exactly analogous, since Maryland isn't the Terrapin Sta— what's that? Oh, you're right: I have completely gotten off track. So...Daytona Tortugas. You might think this isn't a very intimidating name. In fact, the article about the name change at Minor League Baseball's website lampshaded this: the headline was "The Daytona Cubs have a brand new, equally as fearsome mascot". The article also explains the reasoning behind the name as given by general manager Josh Lawther: "Because at the end, what it comes down to is, 'Who doesn't like a turtle?'" No, seriously, he really said that. And you know what? I can't argue with that.

The logo features a tortuga of the aquatic variety, apparently playing underwater baseball. This makes sense since, as I established during my review for the Clearwater Threshers, Florida is actually underwater. This does raise the question of precisely how one can play baseball underwater, but I am happy to report that the Internet has answered that question for us. Check out this video to see for yourself. But it should be noted that the batter in that video is kneeling, not floating in the water like the turtle in the logo is. I'm farily certain it wouldn't work well to be floating like that. Newton's Third Law, I think; the turtle would start spinning around when it swang the bat. And since turtles aren't renowned for their intelligence, the turtle would then probably head off in the wrong direction and be thrown out at first. Then again, you're not likely to beat a throw to first if you're kneeling when you take the pitch, either. Let's face it, some sports just weren't meant to be played underwater. Maybe the Florida State League should move en masse to Georgia.

Final Score: 64 points.
Penalties: Equipment, 13 pts; Player, 51 pts.
Bonuses: None.