| Johnson City Cardinals
| 105 |
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Posted 2015 July 10
The past three reviews have all been for a team whose name was
"Pirates", a team whose name was Spanish for "Pirates", and a team whose
name was a word that is synonymous with "Pirates". I must admit I'm
glad to be done with them. Reviewing such similar teams over and over was
getting monotonous. I'm ready to be doing something different. So
what's on tap?
Oh, shit. It's the Johnson City Cardinals. And since I know that the
order I go in means that teams with the same name will always be
adjacent, that means the next two reviews will be the other two teams
called the Cardinals.
Shoot me now.
At least Johnson City doesn't use the same logo as St. Louis, so I have
something to talk about here (I have no idea what I'm going to talk
about for Palm Beach or Springfield). Of course, given what this logo
looks like, I have to say they'd be better off using St. Louis' logo.
Here, we get a cartoony, somehow juvenile-looking bird hitting a ball
that looks huge in comparison. And then there are those blue triangles
to the left of the bird. I assume they're supposed to be mountains
(Johnson City is in the Blue Ridge Mountains), but I think a viewer
unfamiliar with Tennessee geography could be forgiven for thinking those
are poorly drawn waves. In fact, the Watauga River runs through Johnson
City, so that wouldn't be a completely unreasonable interpretation. I'm
sure it's supposed to be mountains, though. But that does mean either
that there's some really strange perspective going on in this picture or
that this is one huge damn bird. Indeed, between how big the bird
apparently is, how big the bird's head is in relation to its body, and
how cute it is, I can't help but think of the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man
from Ghostbusters. I'm fairly certain that's not what the logo
designer was aiming for on any level.
So basically I think the Johnson City Cardinals would be better off
using their parent team's logo. That's odd, considering that I also
think Palm Beach and Springfield would be better off switching away from
their parent team's logo. I guess I'm implicitly assuming that Palm
Beach and Springfield will come up with better logos, or at least
equally good logos that give them their own identity. You'd think that
after over two hundred reviews I'd know better than to assume such,
wouldn't you? I guess I never learn.
Final Score: 105 points.
Penalties: Scenery, 12 pts; Offspring, 12 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts;
Player, 51 pts.
Bonuses: None.
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