Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Houston Apollos*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars*
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers*
Kansas City Monarchs*
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Napa Silveradoes*
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz*
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans*
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas*
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets*
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
West Virginia Power
Wichita Wind Surge*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Kansas City T-Bones 151

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2010 April 17

When Michael Vick was first sent to a nearby prison to serve (not enough) time for cruelty to animals, the T-Bones decided to have a "Welcome to the Neighborhood" night. The two teams would wear jerseys that looked like prison uniforms (traditional black and white stripes for the home team, contemporary orange for the visitors). The teams would be brought out in shackles, and released from them to play the game. The relief pitchers would be brought out in a paddy wagon. More seriously and more importantly, local animal shelters were invited to the event to showcase animals in need of adoption.

Of course the I Am Offended! Brigade had to show up and explain how terrible it was to do such a thing because it was an affront to Michael Vick's dignity. Huh? In case you missed it, the man was breeding dogs for blood sport. His dignity deserved to be affronted. Richard McIntire, a spokesperson for the NAACP, made the mind-bogglingly stupid statement "In this case it's a shame when others choose to make folly of another's misfortune." Mr. McIntire, let me explain something to you. When a person ends up in the hospital because he wrecked his motorcycle, that is misfortune. When a person loses thousands of dollars because he was the victim of a con artist, that is misfortune. When a person ends up in federal prison because he knowingly and willingly committed a federal offense which resulted in the death of numerous dogs, that is not misfortune. That is just deserts.

Unfortunately, the I Am Offended! Brigade did succeed in keeping, poor, misunderstood little Ron Mexico from having his feelings hurt: the Vick-related events were cancelled, and only the animal welfare-related events actually took place. The animal welfare-related events were the important part, of course, so I can only complain so much. But for the record, let me state that the people who railed against the T-Bones' original plans need to get a clue, get a life, and get a piece of duct tape which they should then place over their closed mouth.

Anyway, the fact that the T-Bones planned such an event means I really want to like them, and really want to be nice to them. There's just one problem, which is that no matter how much I like a team, I am morally bound by my oath as a self-appointed critic to rag on a logo this bad. For that matter, I am morally bound to rag on a name this bad. I may even be morally bound to use all-caps to scream WHAT DRUGS WERE THESE PEOPLE TAKING WHEN THEY THOUGHT OF THIS RIDICULOUS NAME, ANYWAY? After all, this team is named after food. In fact, technically they're not even named after food. No, they're named after what's left after you're done eating. No one in their right mind would name a team the Kansas City Table Scraps, but in essence, that's what this team has done.

I can understand the thinking process that went into this. The cattle industry is important in that part of the country, so they wanted to go with a cattle-themed name. But the obvious choice of "Bulls" had been done to death. There are also, in various sports, teams currently or formerly called the Cowboys, the Brahmas, the Stampede, the Mavericks, the Renegades, the Rustlers, and the Steers. Some of these are rare enough that you could reuse them without embarrassment, but some people like to do something that's never been done before. I think that way lies madness, but I can understand the desire. And if you want to use a name that truly has never been used before, your options are fairly limited. Apparently, these people wanted to do something different. You see the result. Like I said: That way lies madness.

So picture this: You've gone and named your team after something that goes on a dinner plate. What do you do for the logo? Well, if you can at all help it, you don't actually draw the dish on the plate. That just begs for newspapers in opposing teams' cities to make bad jokes about how their local teams (i.e., your opponents) are "eating the competition right up". No, you don't want to encourage that. Much better to draw the animal that the meal used to be. And this is what the T-Bones did. But they did it rather poorly. The most obvious problem is that the bull has hooves, and still somehow manages to be holding a bat. This isn't because they didn't want to anthropomorphize the bull; the arms are clearly the arms of a human — a human on steroids who smears Rogaine all over his arms on a daily basis, but a human nonetheless. Worse, they draw your attention to the hooves by giving the bull a white splotch of fur on his chest. And then there's the nose, which is so big that each nostril appears to be as big as one of his eyes. But they weren't done there. They also gave the bull a brand on its, er, arm. It is inexplicably lighter than the surrounding fur, despite the fact that brands are black. The brand is a T, of course, and even better they've made it in the approximate shape of an actual T-bone. The "T" in the team's name is shaped the same way, while the word "Bones" is in standard baseball script. Then, to cap the whole thing off, they have the bull poking out of a hole surrounded by burgundy and tan circles. I can't help but think of old Warner Brothers cartoons every time I look at the circles.

In short, no matter how much I want to like this team, no matter how nice I want to be to this team, I really have to judge them very harshly. And that's not their misfortune. It's just deserts.

Final Score: 151 points.
Penalties: Script, 7 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts.

This page Copyright ©2010 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved