Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte*
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivieres*
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Alexandria Aces*
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna*
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders*
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Connecticut Tigers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Astros*
Florence Freedom
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels*
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Houston Apollos*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers*
Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers*
Kansas City T-Bones*
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Laredo Lemurs
Las Vegas 51s
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Mobile BayBears
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New Orleans Baby Cakes
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Normal CornBelters
Northern Colorado Owlz* Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Norwich Sea Unicorns*
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Storm Chasers
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Potros de Tijuana*
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Sarasota Reds*
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders*
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey*
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Chiefs
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Tucson Padres
Tulsa Drillers
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
West Virginia Power
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Long Island Ducks 158

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2010 June 20

Long Islanders are fond of ducks. Don't believe me? Look at the building to the right. This building — officially known as the "Big Duck" — is located in Suffolk County, on the eastern part of Long Island. I'd say where in Suffolk County, but apparently the thing has moved several times, and I lost track of all the places it's been while reading the article about it. I'm sure that I could have kept track had I focused, but I kept getting distracted by the mental image of the building standing up on its legs and waddling down the road.

This building is a big deal. It is actually on the National Registry of Historic Places, and I think we all know that when it joined the other buildings looked at each other and said, "Jeez, they'll let anyone onto the list these days." Clearly, being dignified is not a prerequisite to being historic.

The building is currently owned by the county, which uses it to...okay, I have no idea what they use it for. It was originally a shop where the owner sold ducks and duck eggs. Now? No telling. It's probably just a tourist site, where docents in period clothing (from the 1930s) give tours to tourists who try to pretend that this is half as interesting as Monticello or Mount Vernon. I can't imagine the tours last very long, either, given that the thing is only about 30 feet long. In the nearby souvenir shop they— oh, who am I kidding? The thing probably is the souvenir shop. I'm sure they have an amazing collection of rubber duckies for sale. I hope they have this one.

But wait, there's more. According to Roadside America, the eyes have (or at least once had) red lights in them which were turned on at night. Personally, I find the two glowing dots on the Washington Monument to be odd enough. Glowing red eyes on a 20-foot-tall cement duck? There are no words to describe that.

And just in case all this wasn't enough, at Christmas they light this sucker up in a ceremony called the "Holiday Lighting of the Big Duck". According to Roadside America, "Local school children sing 'duck' carols, and warm refreshments including hot chocolate, cookies and doughnuts are served." "Duck" carols? I can only imagine: "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Mallard"? "Have Yourself a Merry Little Duck?" And you know — you just know — that one of the songs they sing is "Duck the Halls".

So why all this love for ducks in Long Island? Simple: They used to farm them there (and may still, for all I know). Now, I certainly have no problem with farming ducks. I'm actually quite fond of duck (it tastes much better than chicken or turkey, if you want my opinion). But I always find it ever so slightly odd when teams are named after food. Granted, this is usually done with animals (I am yet to see a team named, for example, the Baltimore Blancmange), and animals can often be good team names. But the relation of ducks to Long Island is not that there are a bunch of native wild ducks flying all over the place. The relation of ducks to Long Island is that they're raised for meat there. When a team calls itself the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs, that's at least a native animal that is caught for food. In some ways the name "Long Island Ducks" is less akin to "Southern Maryland Blue Crabs" than it is to a team called the "Western Iowa Corn". (That's not a real team name. I hope it stays that way.) That being said, I have to concede that "Western Iowa Corn" is not a name that makes me hungry. "Southern Maryland Blue Crabs" is, and so is "Long Island Ducks".

But if the name whets my appetite, the logo piques my curiosity. How is that Disney has not sued this team out of existence? Is the weird bill-as-combover enough of a difference to protect them? Does it even matter? A company as big as Disney can afford lawyers who will file so many motions that the team will go broke just trying to defend them, regardless of their merit. The team can't possibly be so obscure that no one at Disney has noticed, can it?

If so, I hope I haven't just tipped them off. I'd hate to be responsible for the death of a team. Maybe I should shut up now, just to be on the safe side.

Final Score: 158 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Script, 7 pts; Letter, 24 pts; Humanoid (for the eyes), 30 pts; Cartoon (egregious since I can identify the specific character it looks like), 95 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts.

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