Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Sky Carp*
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Charros de Jalisco*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Conspiradores de Querétaro*
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Empire State Greys*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Baseball Club*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders
Grand Junction Jackalopes
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons*
Greensboro Grasshoppers*
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country DockHounds
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Stormers*
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds
New England Knockouts*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Oakland Ballers
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Baseball Club*
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Emperors*
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island FerryHawks
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
Yolo High Wheelers
York Revolution
Long Island Ducks 158

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2010 June 20

Long Islanders are fond of ducks. Don't believe me? Look at the building to the right. This building — officially known as the "Big Duck" — is located in Suffolk County, on the eastern part of Long Island. I'd say where in Suffolk County, but apparently the thing has moved several times, and I lost track of all the places it's been while reading the article about it. I'm sure that I could have kept track had I focused, but I kept getting distracted by the mental image of the building standing up on its legs and waddling down the road.

This building is a big deal. It is actually on the National Registry of Historic Places, and I think we all know that when it joined the other buildings looked at each other and said, "Jeez, they'll let anyone onto the list these days." Clearly, being dignified is not a prerequisite to being historic.

The building is currently owned by the county, which uses it to...okay, I have no idea what they use it for. It was originally a shop where the owner sold ducks and duck eggs. Now? No telling. It's probably just a tourist site, where docents in period clothing (from the 1930s) give tours to tourists who try to pretend that this is half as interesting as Monticello or Mount Vernon. I can't imagine the tours last very long, either, given that the thing is only about 30 feet long. In the nearby souvenir shop they— oh, who am I kidding? The thing probably is the souvenir shop. I'm sure they have an amazing collection of rubber duckies for sale. I hope they have this one.

But wait, there's more. According to Roadside America, the eyes have (or at least once had) red lights in them which were turned on at night. Personally, I find the two glowing dots on the Washington Monument to be odd enough. Glowing red eyes on a 20-foot-tall cement duck? There are no words to describe that.

And just in case all this wasn't enough, at Christmas they light this sucker up in a ceremony called the "Holiday Lighting of the Big Duck". According to Roadside America, "Local school children sing 'duck' carols, and warm refreshments including hot chocolate, cookies and doughnuts are served." "Duck" carols? I can only imagine: "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Mallard"? "Have Yourself a Merry Little Duck?" And you know — you just know — that one of the songs they sing is "Duck the Halls".

So why all this love for ducks in Long Island? Simple: They used to farm them there (and may still, for all I know). Now, I certainly have no problem with farming ducks. I'm actually quite fond of duck (it tastes much better than chicken or turkey, if you want my opinion). But I always find it ever so slightly odd when teams are named after food. Granted, this is usually done with animals (I am yet to see a team named, for example, the Baltimore Blancmange), and animals can often be good team names. But the relation of ducks to Long Island is not that there are a bunch of native wild ducks flying all over the place. The relation of ducks to Long Island is that they're raised for meat there. When a team calls itself the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs, that's at least a native animal that is caught for food. In some ways the name "Long Island Ducks" is less akin to "Southern Maryland Blue Crabs" than it is to a team called the "Western Iowa Corn". (That's not a real team name. I hope it stays that way.) That being said, I have to concede that "Western Iowa Corn" is not a name that makes me hungry. "Southern Maryland Blue Crabs" is, and so is "Long Island Ducks".

But if the name whets my appetite, the logo piques my curiosity. How is that Disney has not sued this team out of existence? Is the weird bill-as-combover enough of a difference to protect them? Does it even matter? A company as big as Disney can afford lawyers who will file so many motions that the team will go broke just trying to defend them, regardless of their merit. The team can't possibly be so obscure that no one at Disney has noticed, can it?

If so, I hope I haven't just tipped them off. I'd hate to be responsible for the death of a team. Maybe I should shut up now, just to be on the safe side.

Final Score: 158 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Script, 7 pts; Letter, 24 pts; Humanoid (for the eyes), 30 pts; Cartoon (egregious since I can identify the specific character it looks like), 95 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts.

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