Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte*
Aigles de Trois-Rivieres*
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Alexandria Aces*
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna*
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Auburn Doubledays*
Augusta GreenJackets
Batavia Muckdogs
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Bluefield Blue Jays
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Bristol Pirates
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Burlington Bees
Burlington Royals
Calgary Vipers*
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights*
Charlotte Stone Crabs
Chattanooga Lookouts
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders*
Clinton LumberKings
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Connecticut Tigers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Danville Braves
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
Elizabethton Twins
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Astros*
Florence Freedom
Florida Fire Frogs*
Fort Myers Miracle
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greeneville Reds
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers*
Hagerstown Suns
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers*
Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Johnson City Cardinals
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars
Kannapolis Intimidators
Kansas City T-Bones
Kingsport Mets
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Laredo Lemurs
Las Vegas 51s
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mahoning Valley Scrappers
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Osprey
Mobile BayBears
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Britain Bees*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New Orleans Baby Cakes
Norfolk Tides
Normal CornBelters
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Orem Owlz
Ottawa Champions
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pawtucket Red Sox
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Pittsburg Diamonds
Portland Sea Dogs
Potomac Nationals
Potros de Tijuana*
Princeton Rays
Pulaski Mariners*
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
River City Rascals
Rochester Red Wings
Rockland Boulders
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salem-Keizer Volcanoes
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
San Rafael Pacifics
Saraperos de Saltillo
Sarasota Reds*
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders*
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
State College Spikes
Staten Island Yankees
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Chiefs
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Texas AirHogs
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Tucson Padres
Tulsa Drillers
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Vermont Lake Monsters*
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
West Virginia Black Bears
West Virginia Power
Williamsport Crosscutters
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
York Revolution
Lansing Lugnuts 198

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2013 April 26

Hoo-boy. Every once in a while I look at a particular logo and just think to myself, "This is what the Bush League Factor was made for." And dear reader, this is one such logo.

It begins, of course, with the name. The idea of naming a team, even a team in Michigan, after an automobile part is absurd even when it's something that could vaguely be considered impressive, like a motor or a piston. But to name a team after a nut, of all things, goes straight into the realm of the sublime. Between the fact that you'd be hard pressed to name a less impressive part of a car, the let's-make-all-the-junior-high-kids-snicker aspect of the word "nut", and the fact that the word "lugnut" just plain sounds goofy, it's hard to imagine how this name could be any worse. I think they were aiming for the "so bad it's awesome" vibe that you find in names like "Macon Whoopees" (for those who don't know, this was the actual name of a hockey team in Macon, Georgia). The problem is, they missed. You know how on The Price is Right the announcer is always talking about "the closest to the actual price without going over"? This is a similar thing: the most ridiculous idea imaginable without being awesome. (I'm not sure how they could have actually gone into "so bad it's awesome" territory, but my best guess would be the "Lansing Boils". Even if that's not so bad it's awesome, it's still an improvement over "Lansing Lugnuts", which should tell you just how irredeemably awful the team's name is.)

And then there's the logo. the city name is written in a font that makes Comic Sans look like Garamond. The teamname is written in a strange lettering (it doesn't deserve to be called a font) that looks vaguely reminiscent of the Old West for some strange reason. The horseshoe-shaped U's are what does it, I think. And then "T" is, of course, made out of a—

You thought I was about to say "lugnut", didn't you? But I'm not, because it isn't. Nuts, remember, are the usually-hexagonal* pieces that the cylindrical bolts screw into. The "T" is made out of the bolt. This is a good thing from my perspective, because it allows me to throw the "Irrelevant" penalty at a logo that needs to have as many points as possible piled onto it.

The last point of absurdity is the team mascot. He is shown at the right. His name is "Big Lug", and as you can see, he looks like Barney, but with teal acne, fangs, and two gigantic nuts hanging out of his nose like a pair of hexagonal boogers. I thought the point of mascots was to attract children, not scare them.

I think the team did this on purpose. I think the team did all of this on purpose. I think the team wanted to have the worst name imaginable, the worst logo imaginable, and the worst mascot imaginable, because they thought it would be cool. They were wrong.

*Lug nuts are not hexagonal, incidentally. What differentiates a lugnut from a regular nut is that one side of lugnut is circular instead of hexagonal. What etymology allows "lug" to mean "rounded on one side" I do not know.

Final Score: 198 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Letter, 24 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Irrelevance, 39 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts. Bonuses: None.

This page Copyright ©2013 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved