Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Sky Carp*
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Charros de Jalisco*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Conspiradores de Querétaro*
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Empire State Greys*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Baseball Club*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders
Grand Junction Jackalopes
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons*
Greensboro Grasshoppers*
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country DockHounds
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Stormers*
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds
New England Knockouts*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Oakland Ballers
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Baseball Club*
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Emperors*
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island FerryHawks
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
Yolo High Wheelers
York Revolution
Lansing Lugnuts 198

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2013 April 26

Hoo-boy. Every once in a while I look at a particular logo and just think to myself, "This is what the Bush League Factor was made for." And dear reader, this is one such logo.

It begins, of course, with the name. The idea of naming a team, even a team in Michigan, after an automobile part is absurd even when it's something that could vaguely be considered impressive, like a motor or a piston. But to name a team after a nut, of all things, goes straight into the realm of the sublime. Between the fact that you'd be hard pressed to name a less impressive part of a car, the let's-make-all-the-junior-high-kids-snicker aspect of the word "nut", and the fact that the word "lugnut" just plain sounds goofy, it's hard to imagine how this name could be any worse. I think they were aiming for the "so bad it's awesome" vibe that you find in names like "Macon Whoopees" (for those who don't know, this was the actual name of a hockey team in Macon, Georgia). The problem is, they missed. You know how on The Price is Right the announcer is always talking about "the closest to the actual price without going over"? This is a similar thing: the most ridiculous idea imaginable without being awesome. (I'm not sure how they could have actually gone into "so bad it's awesome" territory, but my best guess would be the "Lansing Boils". Even if that's not so bad it's awesome, it's still an improvement over "Lansing Lugnuts", which should tell you just how irredeemably awful the team's name is.)

And then there's the logo. the city name is written in a font that makes Comic Sans look like Garamond. The teamname is written in a strange lettering (it doesn't deserve to be called a font) that looks vaguely reminiscent of the Old West for some strange reason. The horseshoe-shaped U's are what does it, I think. And then "T" is, of course, made out of a—

You thought I was about to say "lugnut", didn't you? But I'm not, because it isn't. Nuts, remember, are the usually-hexagonal* pieces that the cylindrical bolts screw into. The "T" is made out of the bolt. This is a good thing from my perspective, because it allows me to throw the "Irrelevant" penalty at a logo that needs to have as many points as possible piled onto it.

The last point of absurdity is the team mascot. He is shown at the right. His name is "Big Lug", and as you can see, he looks like Barney, but with teal acne, fangs, and two gigantic nuts hanging out of his nose like a pair of hexagonal boogers. I thought the point of mascots was to attract children, not scare them.

I think the team did this on purpose. I think the team did all of this on purpose. I think the team wanted to have the worst name imaginable, the worst logo imaginable, and the worst mascot imaginable, because they thought it would be cool. They were wrong.

*Lug nuts are not hexagonal, incidentally. What differentiates a lugnut from a regular nut is that one side of lugnut is circular instead of hexagonal. What etymology allows "lug" to mean "rounded on one side" I do not know.

Final Score: 198 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Letter, 24 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Irrelevance, 39 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts. Bonuses: None.

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