| Mobile BayBears
| 98 |
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Posted 2018 July 4
One of my mother-in-law's hobbies is quilting. As a result, my wife and
I have several quilts that my mother-in-law has made. She has a decent
variety of fabrics that she uses for these quilts, and (as is befitting
for quilts), she generally uses small pieces of these fabric.
Have you ever noticed how sometimes
a fabric pattern that seems perfectly normal when you see a small
portion of it becomes bizarre when you see a big piece of the same
fabric? Or perhaps you've noticed the opposite effect. This happens to
my mother-in-law sometimes. She'll buy a piece of fabric that seems
perfectly normal when she's looking at a square yard or so of it, but
then when she cuts a small piece (say, a square two inches to a side),
it looks...different. One particular piece of fabric she bought is
fairly notorious on this front. She herself dubbed this pattern "the
Teddy Bears of the Damned", and no one else sees any reason to argue
with this name. I've never seen a large swath of this fabric so I have
to take her word for it that it doesn't look as strange when you see a
big piece, but it damn sure looks twisted when you get just a small
piece.
Now that you've seen this picture, and gotten the concept of "Teddy
Bears of the Damned" fixed firmly in your head, I want you to look again
at the logo for the Mobile BayBears.
Of course, the BayBears logo is even worse. The Teddy Bears of the
Damned are scary, but at least none of them are copulating with a
baseball that's slightly larger than they are. Nor are any of them
displaying a facial expression of...just what the hell is that facial
expression, anyway? It seems to be part sexual ecstasy, part laughing
at a practical joke it's just played on someone, part threat display.
You know what that adds up to? Disturbing as hell, that's what.
As it turns out, the Mobile BayBears aren't going to be around much
longer. The team has been sold, and will play the 2018 and 2019 seasons
in Mobile and then move to Madison, on the other end of the state. I
never celebrate the loss of a team in a city, and I won't make an
exception here. But the logo? Yeah, I'll be glad to see the logo go
away. I'll be absolutely thrilled.
Final Score: 98 points.
Penalties: Software, 27 pts; Compound, 34 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts;
Script, 7 pts; Equipment, 13 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.
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