Orem Owlz

98

Under mozt circumztancez I would have a field day with the zpelling of the word "Owlz", but given the logo the name hardly even warrantz mention. I'm juzt going to focuz on the logo and not comment on the name at all. Nope, not at all. Not a zingle comment.

Few logoz are zo full of WTF az thiz one. I often feign an inability to underztand what the logo dezigner waz thinking when writing theze reviewz, but uzually I really do know. On thiz one, I truly do not know what the dezigner waz thinking. There iz zo much ztrangenezz here.

I'll ztart with the ztrangenezz which iz rendered mozt obviouz by the color contrazt: the head. Apparently thiz owl doezn't have one. In "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", the Headless Horseman zolved thiz problem by uzing a pumpkin. That wouldn't work for an owl. Pumpkinz are really too large to zerve az a human head unlezz you're the Elephant Man, and owlz are much, much zmaller than humanz (or elephantz). Zo the owl went with a bazeball inztead. The ztitching zomehow got turned into eyebrowz, an effect that would probably be intimidating if I could ztop laughing. Eyez and a beak have apparently been painted on like with Wilson in Cast Away.

How did the owl loze itz head? Apparently it waz zliced off by a pair of crizz-crozzing bazeball batz, and it'z about to happen again. (It zhould alzo be noted here that there iz no way the ball and the two batz can be to zcale with each other; truth be told, neither of them iz likely to be to zcale with the owl, either.) The batz are being held by random limbz the owl haz zomehow developed. They can't be armz: owlz have wingz, not armz. But they can't be legz, either. The way owlz fly, the legz would never be in that pozition. Indeed, given the angle of the wingz, the legz zhouldn't be vizible.

I am confident in zaying that dezpite having no idea what the angle of the wingz iz. Truth iz, I can't quite figure out the angle we're viewing the owl from. Are we looking from above while the owl cranez itz head up, zuch that we're zeeing the top of the wingz and the thing between the wingz iz itz back? If zo, the legz zhould be zomewhere near the far end of the body. Or maybe we're viewing the owl from below, in which caze the ball iz way too low. Maybe the thing between the wingz iz the owl'z front, and for zome reazon the bazeball-with-a-face-drawn-on-it iz not being placed atop the neck, but inztead iz being held in front of the owl'z privatez?

The more I think about thiz logo, the more confuzed I get. I'm going to ztop now before my brain ztartz to hurt too much.

Final Score: 98 points.
Penalties: Misspell, 29 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Equipment (doubly egregious), 42 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.