Round Rock Express

39

NOTE: This review is a slight rewrite of the original review for the Round Rock Express, which was posted 2015 April 5.

Sometimes I feel the need to start off these reviews by answering two questions that I know are on the minds of many of my readers: "Where the hell is __________?" and "Why the hell is this team nicknamed the __________?" This is one of those reviews.

Round Rock is about twenty minutes north of Austin, Texas.

They're called the Express because one of the primary owners is Nolan Ryan, who in his playing days was known as the "Ryan Express". If you're wondering why the team doesn't call itself the Austin Express, my guess is that it's at least in part because Round Rock starts with an R and Austin doesn't.

Some of my geekier readers may also be wondering "Why the hell is the town of Round Rock called 'Round Rock'?" Well, first of all, the "town" of Round Rock has a population of over a hundred thousand, so try to show it a little respect (but not too much...it is in Texas, after all, and we all know how full of themselves Texans are). But it turns out that there's a very simple reason for the name. It's named after a rock that's round. I'm sorry if you were expecting a colorful, dubious-but-nevertheless-entertaining story, but I'm afraid it really is that simple. The city was founded along the Chisholm Trail at Bushy Creek, and sitting in the middle of Bushy Creek a few feet from the Chisholm Trail is a rock which is (vaguely) round, so they named the place after it. Heck, you can even see it in Google Maps if you want. Just bring up Google Maps and type "the round rock" in the search bar. It'll take you straight to it. Just don't expect to be wowed or anything. It's a rock, and it's round, and that's basically all there is to say about it.

I personally think it would have been nice if the Express could have somehow worked this round rock into the logo. No such luck. The logo is far too cliché for that. We get the letter E with the middle crossbar turned into a star (because Texas) and the lower crossbar turned into a cowcatcher. We do get a circle around the E/train, but enough teams do this that I don't really consider that to be a reference to the rock. It's just following a boring trend.

Then again, when you consider how much creativity went into naming the town, I suppose I shouldn't expect more.

Final Score: 39 points.
Penalties: Singular, 15 pts; Letter, 24 pts.
Bonuses: None.