Round Rock Express

40

Sometimes I feel the need to start off these reviews by answering two questions that I know are on the minds of many of my readers: "Where the hell is __________?" and "Why the hell is this team nicknamed the __________?" This is one of those reviews.

Round Rock is about twenty minutes north of Austin, Texas.

They're called the Express because one of the primary owners is Nolan Ryan, who in his playing days was known as the "Ryan Express". If you're wondering why the team doesn't call itself the Austin Express, my guess is that it's at least in part because "Round Rock" starts with an R and "Austin" doesn't.

Some of my geekier readers may also be wondering "Why the hell is the town of Round Rock called 'Round Rock'?" Well, first of all, the "town" of Round Rock has a population of over a hundred thousand, so try to show it a little respect (but not too much...it is in Texas, after all, and we all know how full of themselves Texans are). But it turns out that there's a very simple reason for the name. It's named after a rock that's round. I'm sorry if you were expecting a colorful, dubious-but-nevertheless-entertaining story, but I'm afraid it really is that simple. The town was founded along the Chisholm Trail at Bushy Creek, and sitting in the middle of Bushy Creek a few feet from the Chisholm Trail is a rock which is (vaguely) round, so they named the town after it. Heck, you can even see it in Google Maps if you want. Just bring up Google Maps and type "the prophetic round rock, round rock tx" in the search bar. It'll take you straight to it. Just don't expect to be wowed or anything. It's a rock, and it's round, and that's basically all there is to say about it. But for most of you, the origin of the name of the town where you live isn't nearly so simple or interesting, so don't mock them.

Also, don't ask me why you have to type "the prophetic round rock". For whatever reason "the round rock, round rock tx" won't take you there. I'm not sure why Google Maps labels the rock "the prophetic round rock". I did a web search on "prophetic round rock" and all I got was a couple of Youtube videos of evangelists standing in the creek near the rock. One of the videos was over forty minutes long and maybe there's an explanation in there somewhere, but I had zero intent of listening to the whole thing just to (maybe) find out.

I personally think it would have been nice if the Express could have somehow worked this "prophetic round rock" into the logo. No such luck. The logo is far too cliché for that. We get the name of the team obscuring a BIC, and a cowcatcher to represent the fact that this is a train. Oh, and there's a flag of Texas because of course there is. But putting a round rock in the logo for a team in Round Rock is apparently more creativity than the logo designer was capable of. Then again, giving how much creativity was involved in naming the city in the first place, perhaps I shouldn't have expected much.

Final Score: 40 points.
Penalties: Singular, 15 pts; Equipment, 13 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.