Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
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Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
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Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds*
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Frontier Greys*
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders*
Grand Junction Rockies
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Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Harrisburg Senators
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Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
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Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
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Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country Dockhounds*
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
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Lancaster Barnstormers
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
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Lexington Legends
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Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
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Mariachis de Guadalajara
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds*
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans*
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas*
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
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San Antonio Missions
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St. Lucie Mets
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Staten Island Ferry Hawks*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
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Syracuse Mets*
Tacoma Rainiers
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Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies
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Wild Health Genomes*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
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Winnipeg Goldeyes*
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Sugar Land Skeeters 105

Posted 2019 August 22

In 2010 the Atlantic League, which previously had only had teams in the Northeast, announced an expansion team in Sugar Land, Texas. At the time, it was reported to be the first of a new western division. So here we are, almost a decade later. Let's see what teams the Atlantic League has in the general vicinity of Texas:

  1. Sugar Land Skeeters
Oh. Still just Sugar Land, eh? Oh well. The league has expanded out of its Northeastern footprint, but not by much: the High Point Rockers are in North Carolina. That's a little bit closer than the Skeeters' previous closest opponent in Southern Maryland, but it's hardly a western expansion.

The Skeeters, for their part, don't seem terribly bothered by this. Teams switch leagues quite often in independent baseball, and the American Association has two teams in Texas, but the Skeeters are still in the Atlantic League.

I realize you may be wondering about the name "Sugar Land". It sounds like it might have an interesting story behind it. Alas, there's not really much to tell. It started as a company town for the Imperial Sugar Company. The "Skeeters" name isn't especially interesting, either. It's short for "mosquito", and there are a shit-ton of mosquitos in the area. You may say that mosquitos aren't the most intimidating animal in the world, but...well, you're right, actually. They're not. You often hear that mosquitos kill more humans every year than any other animal, but that's not precisely true. Mosquitos are a vector for diseases which do the actual killing. The mosquitos themselves are an annoyance at worst. Yeah, I know some of you are saying that's not a lot of comfort to a person who died of malaria. Point conceded. But still, the mosquito itself doesn't have the capacity to do much more than make you itch. You want to know which animal is responsible for the most human deaths each year without relying on being a vector for disease? Humans, that's who. And I know some of you are saying that humans aren't really animals because we're somehow better than animals, but if we were that much better than animals we wouldn't kill so damn many humans. So yeah, we're animals. And not only do we kill more humans than any other animal, we kill over four times as many as other animal. And we have to cheat to say it's only four times as many, because because humans are just one species and snakes (the next animal on the list) are an order consisting of over 3500 species.

But intimidating or not, mosquitos are what the team was named after. The logo features a mosquito and an outline of Texas, the latter because there's probably a clause in the state constitution requiring teams to do that. The mosquito is apparently the size of Texas, which I really don't think is possible given how arthropod anatomy works, and has apparently stabbed the state and is sucking out all of its...blood? oil? Hell if I know. It's also holding a baseball which look like it's roughly the size of the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area. Why? Again, hell if I know. Whoever designed this logo was probably delirious. Dengue fever can cause delirium, you know.

But the mosquitos themselves can't.

Final Score: 105 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Equipment, 13 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Name, 10 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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