Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Sky Carp*
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Charros de Jalisco*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Conspiradores de Querétaro*
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Empire State Greys*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Baseball Club*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders
Grand Junction Jackalopes
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons*
Greensboro Grasshoppers*
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country DockHounds
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Stormers*
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds
New England Knockouts*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Oakland Ballers
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Baseball Club*
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Emperors*
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island FerryHawks
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
Yolo High Wheelers
York Revolution
Salt Lake Bees 112

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2011 July 4

For anyone who is wondering, the name "Salt Lake Bees" comes from the fact that the beehive is a a symbol of either Utah or the Mormons. Oh, who are we kidding; to be a symbol is Mormons is to be a symbol of Utah, and vice versa. In fact, I would go so far as to say that Utah is a symbol of the Mormons, and vice versa. This, combined with my previous sentence, means that Utah is a symbol of Utah, and Mormons are a symbol of Mormons. I'm not sure that makes any sense, but you know what I'm saying.

Because of its status as a symbol of Umortahmonism, the beehive appears on Utah's state highway route markers, its state seal, and its state flag. Of course, the bit about the state flag is fairly obvious given the bit about the state seal, since the state flag is nothing more than the state seal on a blue background. Utah is hardly alone in this regard. "The state seal on a blue background" is an accurate description of the flags of Utah, Connecticut, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Vermont, Virginia, and Wisconsin. On top of that, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Washington, and West Virginia have flags that are the state seal on some other background. What I'm saying here, in short, is that 60% of the states have flags that can only be described as hopelessly lame. If I were so inclined, I could start a "Bush Flag Factor" site talking about those. I'd even go so far as to say that there are only seven states that have truly good flags: Alaska, Arizona, Maryland, New Mexico, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas. I'm not the only one who feels this way, incidentally. The North American Vexilogical Society ("Vexilogical" is Latin for "flag nerd") published the results of a survey several years ago ranking the flags of the U.S. and Canada's states, provinces, adistricts, and territories. The top ten states, in order, were New Mexico, Texas, Maryland, Alaska, Arizona, South Carolina, Hawaii, California, Tennessee, and Ohio. I'm not sure I agree with them on Hawaii and California (Hawaii's is fine, but it's nothing special), but clearly the flag nerds and I are in general agreement. The worst state flags, according to them? The worst nineteen were all "seal-on-blue" flags; the worst twenty-seven were all "seal-on-something" flags. In short: Dear Utah, Connecticut, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Vermont, Virginia, Wisconsin, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Washington, and West Virginia: Get your shit together and come up with something better. Signed, me and the flag nerds.

The Salt Lake Bees do not have the actual Umortahmon symbol on their logo, opting instead for an actual bee ins— no, scratch that. Let's try again: The Salt Lake Bees do not have the actual Umortahmon symbol on their logo, opting instead for a typically goofy half-human, half-whatever-the-team-is-named mutant playing baseball. This Bee, unlike Burlington's, actually has legs, but it only has a total of four limbs instead of the six an actual bee would have. Its eyes are not compound, and while the antennae don't look Martian like Burlington's, they don't look particularly beelike, either. The creature appears to have three wings, and somehow manages to be wearing short sleeves despite not wearing a shirt, and has pant legs on each leg despite the fact that the pant legs don't appear to connect to anything. Maybe they're shin guards? Finally, it's open to debate whether there's supposed to be a stinger on the end, so the bee's gender will have to remain a mystery.

Standing to the right of the bee is the team name in a font which isn't anything special but does have a nifty, old-timey look to it. It is, in my opinion, about the only thing the logo got right. Still, that's one more thing done right than you'll find on Utah's flag. Or Connecticut's. Or Idaho's. Or...

Final Score: 122 points.
Penalties: Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts.

This page Copyright ©2011 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved