Springfield Cardinals

32

If you go to the Wikipedia page for the Springfield Cardinals, you will see the following at the top: This article is about the minor league baseball team that plays in Springfield, Missouri. For the former minor league baseball team that played in Springfield, Illinois, see "Springfield (IL) Cardinals". For the minor league baseball team that played in Springfield, Ohio, see "Springfield (OH) Cardinals".

There. We've done it. We've found the perfect name for the baseball team on The Simpsons. Yes, I know the local team on that show is called the Springfield Isotopes, but clearly this better fits the conceit of where Springfield is located.

I am sad to say that none of these Springfield Cardinals ever coexisted. The Ohio Springfield Cardinals existed for only two seasons in the early 1940s (the team existed from 1933-42, but was only affiliated with St. Louis and only used the Cardinals name for the last two seasons). The Illinois Springfield Cardinals existed from 1983 to 1992. The Missouri Springfield Cardinals debuted in 2005. The three teams all played at different levels as well, with the Ohio team playing in the Class C Middle Atlantic League, the Illinois team playing in the Class A Midwest League, and the Missouri team playing in the Class AA Texas League.

Maybe it's just me, but I think it would be kind of cool to have them all coexist again. Bring back the Illinois team in the Midwest League, put the Ohio team in the Class AA Eastern League, and move the Missouri team up to the Class AAA Pacific Coast League. That was you can have the confusion of having a player called up from the Springfield Cardinals to the Springfield Cardinals. Oh, and while we're an it, let's move the Palm Beach Cardinals to Springfield, Florida. Let's just confuse the hell out of everyone. But in a way it will simplify things. Question: Who are the St. Louis Cardinals' minor league affiliates? Answer: The Springfield Cardinals, Springfield Cardinals, Springfield Cardinals, Springfield Cardinals, and the...oh, wait. gotta do something about their short-season affiliate, which is currently the State College Spikes. There's a Springfield in Pennsylvania, right?

Final Score: 32 points.
Penalties: Script, 7 pts; Offspring, 12 pts; Equipment, 13 pts. Bonuses: None.