Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Sky Carp*
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Charros de Jalisco*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Conspiradores de Querétaro*
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Empire State Greys*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Baseball Club*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders
Grand Junction Jackalopes
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons*
Greensboro Grasshoppers*
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country DockHounds
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Stormers*
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds
New England Knockouts*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Oakland Ballers
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Baseball Club*
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Emperors*
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island FerryHawks
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Mets
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
Yolo High Wheelers
York Revolution
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Railriders 201

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2021 July 25

There is nothing I understand about this team's name or logo. Nothing.

I do not understand why they go with the unwieldly "Scranton/Wilkes-Barre" as their location name. It is not completely ludicrous, insofar as there is a "Scranton" and a "Wilkes-Barre" near where this team plays. But there is not a "Scranton/Wilkes-Barre". Nor should there be; names should not require that many punctuation marks. Scranton is the biggest city in the region, so they could presumably go with that if they wanted even through they don't actually play within Scranton city limits (their stadium is in the town of Moosic, which is between Scranton and Wilkes-Barre). They could go with Moosic since that's where they actually are. Or they could go with "Wyoming Valley", which is apparently how the region is generally referred to. (And truthfully, that's one more thing I don't understand: you would expect the river going through the Wyoming Valley to be the Wyoming River, but in fact it's the Lackawanna River.) In any case, "Scranton/Wilkes-Barre" is just bizarre.

But as it turns out, they're not alone in this unwieldly appellation. The hockey team nearby reverses the two and calls itself the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins. Two teams that folded in recent years are the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Steamers basketball team and the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Pioneers indoor football team. In theory, there's supposed to be safety in numbers. This time I'm making sure there isn't. See, I can actually punish them for this, because the fact that the area is generally referred to as "Wyoming Valley" makes "Scranton/Wilkes-Barre" a made-up compound word. Which is a penalty. And since it's the location name rather than the nickname that's a compound word, it's an "egregious" example in my book. Oh, wait: the nickname (which we'll get to in just a moment here) is also a made-up compound word, which makes it doubly egregious.

I also do not understand why they chose a name like RailRiders. Now, it is true that Scranton has a connection to the rail industry. The Lackawanna Steel Company, located in Scranton, made railroads. As in, they made the actual rails that railroad companies would lay to create the railroads. Okay, fine, but what has that got to do with riding railroads? There were passenger railroads in the area at one time, but you can say that about plenty of places. Today, if you want to be a passenger on a train and are in the Wyoming Valley area, you have to drive over an hour to hop on a commuter train between Quakertown and Philadelphia. Why not just call the team the Railroaders? Or the Locomotives? I'm not saying these are great names (particularly Railroaders), but they'd definitely be an improvement.

But if I sort of don't understand the name, I really do not understand the logo. Why, oh why is there a porcupine in this logo? According to the team, it's because when they held a "Name the Team" contest they allowed voters to pick their top three choices in order, and while "RailRiders" got the most #1 votes "Porcupines" was in the top three more than any other name. I'm skeptical, because I'm always skeptical of Name the Team contests (with good reason, I might add). I suspect someone just wanted to stick a porcupine in the logo for reasons I can't even begin to imagine and would rather not try to. Also, it's not just a porcupine. This porcupine is as wide as the tracks. Assuming standard gauge rails, that makes it thirty or forty times the size of a typical porcupine. It looks like it's literally riding the rails, with its feet in direct contact with the rail. I won't pretend to understand how this is possible.

Nor do I understand the alternate logo. The alternate logo again features a porcupine, except that he's now dressed up as a train porter and holding a baseball bat, presumably to beat the absolute shit out of anyone he finds who doesn't have a ticket. This is the stuff of nightmares, reader. First of all, the idea of a human-sized porcupine is horrific. Then there's the fact that the porucpine is the porter for a train that looks like a porcupine. That's some pretty freaky Inception-type shit right there. Oh, and there's a lightning bolt painted onto the bat. Why? Don't ask me; I already told you there is absolutely nothing I understand about this team's logo, and that extends to the alternate logo. Is the bat somehow electrified? Given the look of gleeful menace on the porcupine's face is, I'm not ruling it out. Also, I'm far from convinced this "porter" actually cares whether you have a ticket. He'll beat you up even if you have a ticket, just for the masochistic joy of it.

Seriously, what sort of absolute lunatic would come up with this name and logo? I don't understand how a person could be so monstrous.

Oh, wait. I just noticed that the New York Yankees own a 50% stake in this team.

So at least there's one thing I do understand.

Final Score: 201 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Compound (doubly-egregious), 105 pts; Software, 27 pts; Irrelevance, 39 pts; Name 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts. Bonuses: None.

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