Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds*
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds*
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Frontier Greys*
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars*
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country Dockhounds*
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Mariachis de Guadalajara
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds*
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans*
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas*
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island Ferry Hawks*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners
Syracuse Mets*
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wild Health Genomes*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes*
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Trenton Thunder 231

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2017 July 29

For some reason, sports teams in Trenton tend to have generic nicknames. Right now, all of them do, because the Trenton Thunder is currently the only team in town. But the teams that used to be in Trenton weren't much better. Examples include the Freedom, Giants, Lightning, Spartans, Stars, Tigers, Titans, and (this is real) Trentonians. Even names which seem to relate to Trenton specifically are still names that could relate to dozens of other cities specifically: Capitols, Colonials, and so forth.

In fairness, some of these names aren't as generic as they seem. Freedom and Colonials are likely references to the Battle of Trenton, which was a major turning point in the American Revolution, the first noteworthy victory for the Colonists. (You know that famous painting of Washington Crossing the Delaware? He was on his way to Trenton.) And Capitols name may seem like a reference to Trenton being the capital of New Jersey, but in fact Trenton briefly served as the capital of the United States. Mind you, this was in the 1780s, when "the capital of the United States" was basically defined as "Wherever Congress happens to be hanging out this week". Congress was literally meeting in a tavern in Trenton, and they only met there for two months in 1784. You can laugh at them for trying to make a big deal out of being the bar of choice for Congress for a couple of months over two centuries ago if you want, but for most of my readers I'm probably correct in saying that two months is longer than anywhere you ever lived served as capital of the United States, so show a little respect.

Or don't. I lived in D.C. when I was younger so I'm laughing at them, and you're invited to join me.

In any case, there's apparently not a lot else from Trenton's history to highlight. Seriously, the most significant post-18th Century event mentioned in the "history" section for Trenton's Wikipedia page is an army hospital being built there during the War of 1812. In fact, the most recent event mentioned at all in that section happened in 1837. Apparently, history stopped in Trenton 180 years ago. And looking at the "About Trenton" page of the city's official website isn't much better, as the only events after 1837 that are mentioned on that page are a few annexations. Even there, the last one was in the 19th Century.

No wonder the sports teams have such generic names.

And with a generic names comes a generic logo, apparently. This time we get an anthropomorphized cloud using a lightning bolt as a bat. Ho hum. Far from the worst logo I've ever seen for a team called the Thunder, but far from the best, too. Hopefully one day people will realize that "Thunder" isn't actually a very good name for a team. It certainly doesn't lend itself to a good logo.

But then again, neither do names like Freedom, Giants, Stars, or Titans. The real issue here is that Trenton teams need to find something less generic to name themselves after. But even that's not the real issue. The real issue is that Trenton apparently needs to actually do something so Trenton teams have something less generic to name themselves after.

Final Score: 231 points.
Penalties: Singular, 15 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player (egregious), 103 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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