Trenton Thunder

231

For some reason, sports teams in Trenton tend to have generic nicknames. Right now, all of them do, because the Trenton Thunder is currently the only team in town. But the teams that used to be in Trenton weren't much better. Examples include the Freedom, Giants, Lightning, Spartans, Stars, Tigers, Titans, and (this is real) Trentonians. Even names which seem to relate to Trenton specifically are still names that could relate to dozens of other cities specifically: Capitols, Colonials, and so forth.

In fairness, some of these names aren't as generic as they seem. Freedom and Colonials are likely references to the Battle of Trenton, which was a major turning point in the American Revolution, the first noteworthy victory for the Colonists. (You know that famous painting of Washington Crossing the Delaware? He was on his way to Trenton.) And Capitols name may seem like a reference to Trenton being the capital of New Jersey, but in fact Trenton briefly served as the capital of the United States. Mind you, this was in the 1780s, when "the capital of the United States" was basically defined as "Wherever Congress happens to be hanging out this week". Congress was literally meeting in a tavern in Trenton, and they only met there for two months in 1784. You can laugh at them for trying to make a big deal out of being the bar of choice for Congress for a couple of months over two centuries ago if you want, but for most of my readers I'm probably correct in saying that two months is longer than anywhere you ever lived served as capital of the United States, so show a little respect.

Or don't. I lived in D.C. when I was younger so I'm laughing at them, and you're invited to join me.

In any case, there's apparently not a lot else from Trenton's history to highlight. Seriously, the most significant post-18th Century event mentioned in the "history" section for Trenton's Wikipedia page is an army hospital being built there during the War of 1812. In fact, the most recent event mentioned at all in that section happened in 1837. Apparently, history stopped in Trenton 180 years ago. And looking at the "About Trenton" page of the city's official website isn't much better, as the only events after 1837 that are mentioned on that page are a few annexations. Even there, the last one was in the 19th Century.

No wonder the sports teams have such generic names.

And with a generic names comes a generic logo, apparently. This time we get an anthropomorphized cloud using a lightning bolt as a bat. Ho hum. Far from the worst logo I've ever seen for a team called the Thunder, but far from the best, too. Hopefully one day people will realize that "Thunder" isn't actually a very good name for a team. It certainly doesn't lend itself to a good logo.

But then again, neither do names like Freedom, Giants, Stars, or Titans. The real issue here is that Trenton teams need to find something less generic to name themselves after. But even that's not the real issue. The real issue is that Trenton apparently needs to actually do something so Trenton teams have something less generic to name themselves after.

Final Score: 231 points.
Penalties: Singular, 15 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Humanoid (egregious), 61 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player (egregious), 103 pts.
Bonuses: None.