Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte*
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivieres*
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Alexandria Aces*
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna*
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Bay Area Toros*
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies*
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders*
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Connecticut Tigers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks*
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters
Everett AquaSox
Fayetteville Woodpeckers*
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Astros*
Florence Freedom
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels*
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Frederick Keys
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies*
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats*
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Houston Apollos*
Hudson Valley Renegades*
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers*
Iowa Cubs
Jackson Generals
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers*
Kansas City T-Bones*
Lake County Captains
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lakewood BlueClaws
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lancaster JetHawks
Lansing Lugnuts
Laredo Lemurs
Las Vegas 51s
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends*
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Beach Armada*
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lowell Spinners*
Lynchburg Hillcats*
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen*
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Mobile BayBears
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New Orleans Baby Cakes
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Normal CornBelters
Northern Colorado Owlz* Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Norwich Sea Unicorns*
Ogden Raptors*
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco*
Omaha Storm Chasers
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Potros de Tijuana*
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Sarasota Reds*
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders*
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
Sonoma Stompers
South Bend Cubs
Southern Illinois Miners
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey*
Sussex County Miners*
Syracuse Chiefs
Tacoma Rainiers*
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies*
Texarkana Gunslingers*
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Traverse City Beach Bums
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Tucson Padres
Tulsa Drillers
Vallejo Admirals*
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
West Virginia Power
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Williamsport Crosscutters 51

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2014 July 27

I rarely get perturbed by new words and phrases. While others lament that words like "twerk" and "selfie" are somehow destroying the English language, I see them as temporarily useful additions to the language that will probably be viewed as hopelessly dated in a few decades, in much the same way that we now view "groovy", "my bad", and "bitchin'". But once in a great while, some phrase will come along that is so phenemonally stupid that I can't help but comment. One such phrase now gaining currency is "peak beard". "Peak beard" is of course a riff on "peak oil", itself an odd term for the point where we reach the maximum level of how much oil we can pull out of the ground. (Surely we were at the maximum level of how much oil we could pull out of the ground before we pulled any of it out, weren't we?) The idea is that once we pass "peak oil", we'll have to get used to a world where there's less and less oil available. "Peak beard" is slightly different. At least, I assume it is; I don't think anyone believes we're going to run out of access to beards any time soon. Rather, "peak beard" is the point where men, after years of growing beards, collectively decide that they look better clean-shaven.

The phrase grates me on as couple of levels. First, unlike "twerk", I fail to see a need for a term to refer to the maximum moment of facial hair on men in Western countries. (Please note I'm only saying I see a need for a term to refer to the act of twerking, not that I see a need for the act of twerking itself.) Second, the structure of the phrase sounds like something that comes out of business jargon. If you're going to have a word for a concept as ridiculous as the moment when men in Western nations have the most facial hair, then the word should have an origin as ridiculous as the concept. Rather than sounding like business jargon, the word really should be one of those ludicrous-sounding German phrases-crammed-into-single-words, along the lines of Schadenfreude or Bezirksschornsteinfegermeister. I'm thinking AussehenZZTopmitgliedzeit would work. I would definitely prefer the media types who want to write articles about this concept use AussehenZZTopmitgliedzeit instead of "peak beard", if only because having to type AussehenZZTopmitgliedzeit over and over would make them think twice about writing the article in the first place.

Supposedly, the current trend towards really thick beards began somewhere around 2006, which coincidentally is around the time the Williamsport Crosscutters adopted their current logo. Their previous logo also featured a lumberjack, but that lumberjack only had a mustache. I'm not suggesting that the Crosscutters in any way started the current trend, but you do have to wonder if they didn't have some kind of insight into where we were heading as a culture. The amount of facial hair on their current lumberjack is astounding. Forget the beard for a moment, just check out those eyebrows! They don't look like eyebrows so much as bushy mustaches above the guy's eyes. His bizarre, open-too-wide eyes. I don't think you can properly get the effect on the little logo on this page, but go do a web search on the team's logo to see what I'm talking about. There is something very disturbing about this character. Those wide eyes and that subtle smile? This dude doesn't use his saw to cut down trees, people. In fact, you can look at his saw in the logo (which is also the word "CROSSCUTTERS") and see that the bottom half of the sawblade is red. That's not artistic license, people. That's blood. This guy is a psycho killer. And if he doesn't use a saw to cut you in half, he'll take the baseball bat in his right hand and beat you to a pulp. Or maybe he'll use the log in his left hand instead. Why is this guy holding a baseball bat in one hand and a log in the other? You know what? Don't answer that. Let's just back away slowly. No sudden movements. He's looking off to the side, so maybe he won't even notice until we're gone. That's it, friend. Keep backing away slowly. As long as we move slowly and he doesn't see us, there won't be any violence.

Did those eyes just move?

Fuck it. RUN!

Final Score: 51 points.
Penalties: Equipment, 13 pts; Diamond, 16 pts; Name, 10 pts; Logo, 12 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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