Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz*
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Snappers
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds*
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies*
Columbus Clippers
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals*
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Frontier Greys*
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Honey Hunters
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders*
Grand Junction Rockies
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kane County Cougars*
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country Dockhounds*
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Barnstormers
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Mariachis de Guadalajara*
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds*
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads*
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds*
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals*
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Dodgers
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans*
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas*
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Braves
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island Ferry Hawks*
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners
Syracuse Mets*
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons*
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos*
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana*
Trenton Thunder
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wild Health Genomes*
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes*
Winston-Salem Dash*
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
York Revolution
Winnipeg Goldeyes 116

Notice: All logos on this page are included within the parameters of 17 U.S.C. § 107, which states that the reproduction of a copyrighted work for purposes of criticism and/or comment is not an infringement of copyright. No challenge to the copyrights of these logos is intended by their inclusion here.
Posted 2012 September 2

So I'm getting ready to write the review for the Winnipeg Goldeyes, and I start the way I usually do: I go to the website to see what they consider the logo to be (given the distinction between a logo and the cap insignia, it can be hard to tell sometimes), and to get a general idea of what the logo is and what I'm going to write about. So I go to the Winnipeg Goldeyes' website and OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING THERE'S A DEFORMED TELETUBBY FROM HELL ON THE WEBSITE SOMEBODY SAVE ME.

What, you may ask, am I talking about? I am talking about this:

Seriously, people, which level of Dante's hell did this monstrosity escape from? It looks like an orange Teletubby lost its head and, lacking an available pumpkin to use a là the Headless Horsemen, instead grabbed the main character from the video game Q*Bert and stuck him on its neck to use for a head. Then it grabbed two oversized baseballs and shoved them in its new ears so it wouldn't have to hear the scream of anguish coming from the Q*Bert. And then it decided that it had a midriff worth showing off and modified its shirt to expose everything below its nipples (if it has them, and I really don't want to know whether this thing has nipples). Thanks a lot, Goldeyes. I'm going to have nightmares until spring training because of this fucker.

I think this may have been deliberate. I think they wanted to scare me to death with their mascot so I'd be distracted from how weird their logo is. The logo has eyes bigger than they ought to be and hideous, sharp teeth. Do actual goldeyes look anything like this? Well, I'm not sure if the picture to the right is real or the work of Photoshop and someone's twisted imagination, but this thing actually looks worse than the logo. The logo only has one row of teeth. Is this really what you named your team after, Winnipeg?

If so, congratulation on picking a name that's ten thousand times more intimidating than one might think. But do the children of Winnipeg a favor and don't take any of them to a game. Take them to something with a more fan-friendly name, like your NHL team. Jets may be capable of delivering bombs that can wipe out an entire city, but I promise you they're not as nightmare-inducing as this thing.

Final Score: 116 points.
Penalties: Letter, 24 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6.

This page Copyright ©2012 Scott D. Rhodes. All rights reserved